The devil wears red lipstick

Happy Halloween! Anyone doing anything fun tonight? You know what I love? When towns celebrate Halloween on the actual day, its just better that way. We're taking our nephew to his moms work to show off costumes and whatnot and then I've left the rest of the evening to Josh's planning.

So, is 25 too old to dress up? I got some devil horns on and red lipstick and I couldn't be happier about it. I just can't pass up an excuse to wear something out of the ordinary.

Anyway, eating was pretty good yesterday and so far so good today. I will post my data thing tonight or tomorrow morning. I just found out yesterday that I will actually be out of town for a week starting next Wednesday. I'm still doing the challenge and will do my best to post while I'm gone, assuming I will have hotel internet access.

I have a feeling that the next week will be crazy. We are doing poll work on Tuesday(go vote!), driving to Savannah Wednesday and then to Florida for a wedding on Friday and not coming back until Tuesday of the following week. I have no idea how I'm going to keep up with blogging and challenge stuff, but I will keep track of my food and exercise and post when I can or at least when I get back.

I'm so glad you guys liked the makeup video from the last post! I love her videos and am actually sporting the pinup one tonight, its really fun.

Have a fun and safe night!

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Funky Funker: daily routine

I was in a bit of a funk starting out this week and really needed to get out of it. As you can see from my last post I finally went to the gym yesterday, which made me feel so much better. I woke up yesterday, took a shower, shaved my legs, shaped my eyebrows and did this makeup:

And as superficial as it may seem, it made me feel so much better. And then I went to the gym even though I wanted to take a nap and I felt good about that. Now, I just need to be more consistent with myself. Going to the gym once a week just won't cut it.

Also, I love the videos from the lady above. When she starts doing her makeup I find myself saying "too much!" and then I just follow along and it really looks good. I love putting on makeup, but also respect why some women don't. Working from home has put me in a frame of mind of "do i really need to shower? do i really need to get out of my pajamas? do i really need to put an outfit on? do i really need to wear makeup?" and the answer is yes! I feel better and take better care of myself when I do these basic things everyday.

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Challenge: Exercise Finally

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Challenge update: Sunday and Monday

Checking in for the challenge that I've been doing poorly at so far. I really have used my parents visit and other events to sort of derail my efforts. It's Tuesday now, and I'm ready to get back on track with the challenge and my goals in general. I missed my five points for doing five days of one hour exercise, but hope to make up those points with consistent exercise in the coming days.

I made this little graphic to make it easier to update and organize my challenge stats. (click graphics to enlarge)

PS: Be sure to check out Jasmine's progress here. She is rocking daily yoga! Go Jasmine, go!

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challenge check-in

This is quick before I go crash into bed. I'm waking up early tomorrow to make breakfast for my parents, which is exciting to me haha. I love cooking for people! So far on the challenge, I feel like I'm getting by until Monday. My eating is o-kay, and I did exercise yesterday so that I could stay in my five days a week of exercise goal.

Yesterday (friday) my food was:

breakfast: 2 biscuits, 1 sausage patty, 2 eggs, butter and homemade pumpkin butter total calories: 750

Dinner: random mix of rally food: 1/2 cupcake, 2 pinwheels, 3 tortilla chips, 3 boiled shrimp, 3 meatballs, broccoli, carrots, one rectangle of cheese: 555 calories

total calories for the day: 1305

exercise: I did 45 minutes of cardio dance + 15 minutes of toning

points: staying within calorie range: 2
recording food: 2
60 min exercise: 4
blog entry: 1

total for friday: 9

Today's food:

grilled cheese on rye bread (2 slices of mozzarella, two slices of rye bread and 1 T butter) 440 calories
1 cup v8 tomato soup- 140 calories
1 T feta: 40 calories
Dinner out: 1/2 C mashed potatoes, 1/2 cup squash and zuccini, 1/4 cup chicken and dumplings, 1 fried chicken breast, 2 small biscuits, green beans, 1 T pinto beans, and brownie dessert w/ one scoop of ice cream: total calories: 1,160

total calories for the day: 1,780

Exercise: none, will have to exercise every day until thursday to get my five days a week of exerice points!

daily points:
2 for staying in calorie range
2 for recording food
1 for blogging

total: 5

Total for challenge: 19

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Anyone notice some major weirdness in my blog yesterday? Yeah. I shouldn't mess with my template. Josh had to fix it for me today--thanks Josh! Which explains my lack of posting!!

I have a couple of things coming up that I've been working on this week: two more product reviews and some fun wardrobe mixes. I love doing those!

So yesterday was my first day of the challenge and ironically enough I didn't exercise. Which like Jasmine will be my free day off, meaning I have to exercise today. The next week is going to be a real challenge for me to fit exercise in, but I know I can do it. Today is nephew watching day and then we are going to an obama rally at six which means I have to take gym clothes and go afterwards or do a dvd when I get home.

And then my parents are coming up this weekend to visit and are staying until tuesday. And finally all week next week is Obama-ing and working and nephew watching. I'm going to have to get more organized with my time.

Oh! So we are meeting with my possible wedding dress maker on Monday morning. Its really happening, we're getting married! But also, I'm going to be wearing a dress in front of people in June and thats a lot of time to get into better shape!

So yesterday's food was so-so really. Lack of planning really and a lot of prepackaged stuff. I woke up and ate two fiber one toaster pastries: 380 calories , 2 corndogs (don't ask, this was such an impulse buy) 400 calories, mustard 5 calories, 4 tortilla chips w/ salsa @ mexican place 80 calories, two toquitos(sp?) 400 calories, 1/4 cup rice 50 calories, lettuce+tomato 20 calories, 1 T sour cream 40 calories. 2 fiber one toaster things (again, really need to not have these around) 380 calories total for the day: 1,755

haha this sort of goes against my thing against calorie counting, I think its better to focus on eating better foods. I feel like even though I stayed within my calories I wasn't exactly eating particularly healthful or good food. I'm not going to over analyze it, but just making notes to myself.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

Staying withing calorie range: 2 points
Recording food: 2 points
blog entry: 1 point
total points: 5

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two week goal on a thursday

Last night we went to the gym after making calls for Obama. Big props to Josh for saying "lets wear gym cloths so we can go afterwards". Sometimes I take a book to the gym, but mostly just my ipod and this time it was both.

I tell you, I was on the elliptical for over 80 minutes last night sweating and reading. After what seemed like 30 minutes I asked Josh how long we had been working out and he said 75 minutes so far. What? Thats crazzzyyy. So, I thought by not a little longer? So that was cool and nice that I got lost in my book without falling off the machine. I will say that I work more vigorously with upbeat music playing. And that reminds me to change my play list, its dragging.

So as of today I've started doing mini two-week challenges with my one my long time known for forever bestest friends. I like doing challenges with my friends and I like the idea of two weeks at a time and setting mini-goals.

Basically we're record our progress on a point system which looks like this:

exercise: 2 points for every 30 minutes,
2 points for following your calorie needs for the day,
2 points for posting what you eat on a daily basis,
1 point for making a blog entry,
5 points for meeting two week non-weight related goal
10 points for meeting two week weight loss goal

Start Date: today end date: November 6th
My calorie range is: 1,500-1,800 calories
My start weight is: 278.5 My two-week goal is: 270 (I don't advocate trying to lose over 8 lbs. in two weeks, but my weight has been dramatically up and down lately which makes me feel that 4 is just water weight- we'll see)
My non-weight loss related goal is to exercise at least five days a week for one hour

There isn't an official prize for the person with the most points, but its nice to win because you get the reward of being healthier. I'm going to reward myself for reaching my two week goal(s) with a pair of fingerless gloves or something else along those lines.

You can follow her progress here: Jas Loses Weight

You can follow me here, of course and if you want to join along just leave me a comment.

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Pictsweet Steamables Cajun Shrimp Gumbo: Review

Josh picked these out at the grocery store about a month ago. The flavor wasn't really calling to me until yesterday. Following the instructions I put it in the microwave for about seven minutes and then poured it in my bowl.

I was shocked to see what two servings looked like. Why do companies do this? I know that 110 calories might seem more appealing to someone but this is seriously a one person meal at 220 and that isn't bad at all.

I try to avoid convenience foods (emphasis on the word try) but sometimes its nice to just eat and go on. I will say that after eating this meal, I could easily make this myself and freeze it for later.

The verdict? On the first bite, I couldn't help but notice how salty it seemed. There were five peices of shrimp in the bag and they were surprisingly really good. I loved the shrimp, I could have eaten 20 of them. They tasted fresh and had a really nice flavor. The cajun flavor was nice and the vegetables were simply o-kay. I felt like I was tolerating them, even the okra. I'm not an okra fan so I'm biased. There was very little rice in the whole bag, maybe 1/4 of a cup total to keep the calorie count down.

I have no idea how much we paid for these, probably a couple of dollars. I will keep track of that next time. Overall, I would probably try these again in a different flavor. I felt like they were reasonably healthful and filling. I would watch for the sodium and maybe eat this with a salad next time.

Click here for detailed nutritional information.


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one up, one down

Let me tell you, the day started out really good food wise, but then it happened: I went to the gym around 1:30 with a little over 350 calories in my system. I wasn't hungry and I just didn't want to exercise with food sloshing around in my stomach.

I got there and did my part b of strength training and when I was finished I needed food. I ate a piece of buffalo jerky offered in the gym store and kept going. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and then went to the store. I came home and proceeded to eat the rest of my days calories and then some on new groceries.

Now I feel full, bloated and lethargic.

What did I learn?

Eat a decent breakfast. Eat substantial meals, ie: protein and fiber. Do not go to the store hungry. And start having a game plan for meals the day before.

I am happy we went to the gym, its getting easier.

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Plus Size Winter Coats

(click image to enlarge)

1. Fashion Bug 2. Fashion Bug 3. Avenue 4. Old Navy 5. Old Navy 6. Target 7. Nordstrom
8. Nordstrom 9. Nordstrom

I'm not at all in need of a winter coat, but I couldn't resist putting this together because I would love any one of these this winter. Especially number four. No coat for me until I lose enough weight to merit a new one.

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its mail time!

I rarely show my email responses publicly, but as I was answering a recent email I realized that I was answering my own question. It's weird how knowledge unfolds when we are least expecting it.

Hi, my name is Carrie and I ran across your blog about a little over a month ago. I try to get on and look at it every so often however, with my work I am very busy and time just seems to get away from me. I'm 31 about to be 32 next month and I also feel like the token fat girl.

I have always been bigger but now I am close to the heaviest i have ever been (currently 259). I was just wondering if you can give me any tips on how to stay motivated. This is my biggest problem. I know that me being fat is the ONLY thing holding me back from having everything I want. I just can't seem to get up early and by the time I get off of work I am so mentally exhausted that all I want to do is go home. Any advise you can give me would be great.

Hey Carrie,
Thanks for taking the time to send me an email! I know what you mean about being short on time, where does it go?! As far as motivation, I'd love to know where I can find some myself! The truth is, I think if we wait to find the motivation to lose weight, we may never lose it.

What I mean is this: successful weight loss comes when we make an agreement with ourselves to exercise and eat right even when we don't want to. I can tell you that I've followed blogs of those who have successfully lost weight and the common thread between all of them is the drive to lose weight when motivation is lost.

Losing weight is not comfortable or easy.

I believe that weight loss can and will happen when we commit to real change and being consistent. Something that I am finding now is that when I am fulfilled in my life (with my work, artwork, relationships etc.) my focus on food goes away. I know that when I eat too much it is because I am not happy with how I'm leading my life and it becomes a vicious cycle. It's easy for me to get into the cycle of not doing anything which at the time seems to feel better then going to the gym, but it catches up with me and only makes me feel worse in the long run.

I've noticed that when I start exercising, the first 20 minutes are the hardest. I always want to give up, but then suddenly it becomes much easier and I can keep going. I don't know if it ever becomes fun, but I think we have to understand on some level that those who are physically fit exercise when they don't want to and don't always eat what they crave. Its hard to get out of the habit of allowing ourselves to eat everything we crave and making food the main focal point of our lives.

I find that the most obvious lessons are the hardest to learn. For example I've been really wanting to take care of my skin. For most of my life I have had mild acne, which is mostly hereditary. For some reason that I haven't totally acknowledged, I thought that my skin should take care of itself. In my mind, I thought because I wanted it to happen it would somehow happen. What I wasn't connected was that when I take care of my skin on a daily basis, that is when it looks the best. I think this applies with weight loss, on some level I think I truly believe that it will happen on its own and part of me is living a divided life in my head where I am currently obese, but some future version of myself finally lost weight. The disconnect is that I actually have to do something today to get what I want tomorrow.

My advice isn't easy, because I have a hard time following it myself. I just know that we have to understand that our health and livelihood is more important then the temporary satisfaction that comes from eating too much food and not going to the gym.

My final thoughts are this: to live your life now at the weight that you are. Not doing what you love to do will only prevent you from experiencing happiness. This could be why you lacking the motivation and drive to take care of your health. When we are doing the things that make us proud, feel happy and fulfilled it's easier to take care of yourself. I'm an advocate of being the person we want to be right now. I don't believe in buying clothing in sizes too small only to enjoy them once the weight is off.

Best of luck!

PS: As I wrote this, I really started answering my own questions. The last part really hit home for me, I really believe that when we have passion and enthusiasm the less we depend on food to make us feel happy.

Side note: I've been updating my "Inspiring Links" page today. If you don't see your link and you want to be added please send me an email : tokenfatgirl@gmail.com

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brand new day

It's Sunday night and I'm working on my weekly to-do list-its getting long. Today's exercise was in the form of going to various houses campaigning for Obama. Which was good for the soul and the legs.

whew, I'm getting political in my weight loss blog. I'm sure I've lost a couple of readers, but I just can't keep this one to myself its just too important. I think everything comes full circle and I truly believe that Obama is good for the health and future of our country. Plus, I'd really like to afford the same health insurance offered to the congress.

I promised a weigh-in today and I'm at 279 which is not progress. What do I need to do this week to make this change? More working out, and eating less. My meals over the weekend have been all over the place, just one giant meal a day it seems.

I will aim for at least five days of exercise this week and cataloging what I eat daily.

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weekend time

Hope everyone is having a nice, active and healthy weekend. I didn't get a chance to check in yesterday because we spent most of the day at an Obama rally, which was awesome. By the time I made it home all I wanted to do was rest on the couch.

The week went pretty well, but wasn't perfect. I need more structure with my eating and I know that recording it here will do that for me. Its just a matter of actually doing it. I need the accountability. I love what Krissie has done in the past with recording her food via photographs. Did anyone read her recap of The Biggest Loser that she did for Fat Bridesmaid? With those two I don't even have to watch the show haha. I like their commentary much better too :)

Thanks for all the comments regarding high fructose corn syrup, its nice to know I'm not alone in the insanity of it all! I will say, thanks to the commercials I've been more aware of it in my labels and will be skipping those things at the store from now on.

Well, I think today is going out to the movies sort of day. I'll be back tomorrow!

PS: Anyone try those fiber one poptarts lately? I'm not sure if they have HFCS (didn't look at the time), but they were pretty good and didn't leave me bloated (and er gassy) like their bars do.

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Sweeter than honey

Am I the only one annoyed and disturbed by these commercials?

I love food commercials (sarcasm) because usually they are trying to dispell some sort of nutritional rumor. First there was beef, then pork, then potatoes, then milk and now its high fructose corn syrup? You've got to be kidding me. Who are they fooling?

I bought a container of potato salad a couple of days ago, something I rarely do, but figured I would measure out portions and enjoy it. Anyhow, I started looking at the ingredients and what do I find? High Fructose Corn Syrup.

And then I started looking around my kitchen. Package of whole wheat buns from wal mart deli: high fructose corn syrup. Its in EVERYTHING. Its like an evil pest that keeps rearing its ugly head.

Anyone else buying into these commercials?

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fall fashion at old navy

I was asked to start doing my fashion mixes again and so here it is! I've missed doing these! I couldn't find an outfit in particular that I wanted to copy so I worked with a fall theme. I'm going to get more creative with these, but I thought this would be a fun way to show how many items can work together.

Also, even if your budget doesn't allow a lot of new wardrobe pieces this season (I'm talking to you failing economy) you can get outfit ideas. Something that I like to do is find a basic outfit I like and figure out how I can recreate it in my closet.

I call this the outfit equation:

cardigan + t-shirt + pencil skirt + flats

blazer + long sleeve tee + jeans + scarf

And then you put it together with what you already have. Goodwill and ebay are also great places to find lightly used items, but can be tricky when it comes to finding plus sizes.


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tree climber

I need more pictures on this blog! This morning I had some filling and craving crushing eggs and bacon. I know that doesn't sound overly healthful, but my breakfast had 465 calories and I won't be hungry again for hours. win, win.

So, I mentioned the hike from a couple of weeks ago here are the pictures if you're interested: flickr.

I forgot to mention that they lasagna was made out of whole wheat noodles, but that doesn't make it okay to eat three servings of it throughout the day haha.

I have a bunch of product reviews I'm working on, so those will be posted soon. Very behind on that! I like to try new stuff and sometimes I'm lucky enough to have products sent to me to try out.

That's all for now, I've got some more work to do and then going to the gym later on this evening. Thinking about a salad and chicken for dinner tonight.

Labels: ,

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End of the day

This is a quick end of the day post before I crawl into bed and read. Today went pretty well the biggest highlight was the hour and a half I spent at the gym which left me very red in the face.

We started with 30 minutes of strength training and followed with 60 minutes on the elliptical-hello 600 calorie burn!

Two things: I really didn't want to go to the gym, but once in the car there really isn't much getting out of it. And the first 20 minutes on the elliptical was the toughest once I "broke through" so to speak I was able to keep going and going. Anyone else experience this?

Food could have been a lot better. I had leftover lasagna in the fridge calling to me today, I ate it three different times. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then lasagna shortly after. What did I do wrong? Cereal is not filling and does not satisfy hunger, it only makes me want to eat more. It was the special K chocolate. What was I thinking?

Lasagna is a trigger food for me. As is pizza. Leftovers call my name in maddening tones sometimes.

Tomorrow, protein and fiber for breakfast! Will update on how that goes. After the gym I was ravenous, I ate half of a bag of ceasar salad, 1/2 cup potato salad and one slab of lasagna. Oh and three pieces of ham and half of a piece of whole wheat bread. Now I'm loading up on water because of thirst. I'm really full right now.

Going to the gym again tomorrow, see you in the morning!

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I'm Back...no really, I'm serious this time

The internet is on and Friday we’re getting really fast internet so yay for that. I’m sorry for the hiatus, I think this is the longest I’ve been away since I started blogging almost two years ago. Not blogging makes me feel guilty, and I don’t like that.

I really want to reestablish myself on this blog again and regain the basic idea of way I started this blog in the first place: weight loss and accountability.

My weight has been up and complacent lately with little movement downwards which isn’t at all what I want. In the past two weeks I’ve had these sprigs of dieting ideas which only lead to me wanting more food. I feel like when people are reading about weight loss you have to over describe what you are doing to lose weight, however, weight loss is individual. I’ve been on a lot of diets in the past two years and I hate saying “they didn’t work” because they could have. Diets do work, they just don’t work for everyone and are increasingly hard long term.

I hate the word “diet” because weight loss is so much more than that. As soon as I start a diet, I suddenly want to eat everything in site. I think we all want to do something to feel like we are moving forward which for me and a lot of us ends up taking us ten steps in the wrong direction.

I’m asking myself what I want, why am I doing this, and why am I putting this out there? There are people out there who read (and comment) who are adamantly against dieting and there are people that come here looking for help, motivation or direction. That makes it really hard, because I’m still finding my own path when it comes to weight loss. I can only figure out what works and doesn’t work for me.

In the past two years I’ve gone from 320 lbs to about 270 lbs. and I have to ask myself, why haven’t I lost more? I think its obvious that I have been sabotaging myself. As soon as I get started with something I stop, my accountability record is low. Why do I keep myself from losing weight?

I know logically that extra weight prohibits me from doing a lot in my life, I know that I feel good when I am losing weight and exercising on a regular basis, I know that I do not want to get diabetes, I know that I want a body that moves. I know these things.

I think it’s easy for us to get comfortable with not moving and overeating, so much so that when we start doing these things it makes us so uncomfortable that we never start.

So let me hit the reset button once again with where I’m at. I need/want to lose about 150 lbs, I want to exercise on a regular basis, I want to keep track of what I’m eating and most importantly I want to build my self-esteem. I want to keep record of this in this blog for accountability and motivation even if it is hard at times. When I slip up, I don’t want to disappear for a week and then come back after I’ve eaten my weight in chocolate to declare “I’m starting over”! Keep going, you know?

Where am I fitness wise? We have been going to the gym about two times a week lately, except for last week when Josh’s back was out. I should have exercised myself though, but didn’t. About a week ago we went on an hour long hike up a huge mountain here in Floyd. I’m not totally incapable of hard exercise. I want to keep going to the gym, but 3-4 days a week. On the days that I don’t go I will exercise at home with a dvd.

What am I eating? Lately, I’ll admit I’ve been eating a lot more than I should. I don’t want to have “off limits” foods because that only makes me want to eat them more. I want to keep track of what I am eating and focus on eating less. I am still using the basic principles of The Day Off Diet with my eating, because it makes me feel better. I will post what I eat and how much of it I eat on a daily basis. I will calculate calories that best that I can just to give an idea to myself for awhile of how much I am consuming.

What is my weight? My weight has been up and down dramatically since we moved to VA, I’ve ranged anywhere between 268 and 283, which is a huge range to “float” around. I will do my next weigh-in on Sunday.

Working on me: I believe that weight loss isn’t just about diet and exercise, it is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. What am I using food for? Why am I not taking care of myself? I have some workbooks that I want to start and will explore and work on fulfilling my inner self without food.

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