I must be doing something right

I have these on right now. Size 22, and not cutting me in half. No stretch either! Woo.

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A new appreciation for food

I am becoming more and more in love with food, but more in a respectful way than an unhealthy glutonous way. I never thought that the exact thing that I've abused, could actually heal me. Does that make sense? Learning about food- it's flavors, textures, and combinations, I want to savor it. Not hord it. I don't want cheap thrills like burgers or fries. Although those can be nice if made well. But fast and processed foods are slowly becoming less enticing. I'm drawn into care and creativity and nutrition more and more. I still crave foods, but each day I see the importants of balancing it all out. I want to create foods that are natural and close to the earth. Im starting to realize that my obsession with food, was not out of love or curiosity. It was ignorance. I thank new york for helping me to appreciate food, in the best possible ways.

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Saturday's Weigh in

Woo! Back in the 270's and my points drop to 34.

This past week went pretty well. I feel like I am slowly getting back into good habits and patterns in my daily life. This is going to be an even better week!


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Baked Macaroni and Cheese Recipe

Here is the requested recipe. It can be changed around according to your taste. More about Healthy Thursdays at the bottom.

16 oz. noodles (elbows, ziti, shells, whatever you like. whole wheat or regular)
4 slices of bread white or wheat (pulse in a food processor to make crumbs)
6 tbls. unsalted butter (or light butter, reserve 2 tbls.)
3 cups skim milk
one block mozzarella cheese (about 10oz, part skim)
1/2 cup shredded cheddar (this is optional)
1tsp worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup flour
salt and pepper


Preheat oven to 400 degrees and spray a 9 x 13 baking dish
Boil pasta according to package instructions
White your pasta is cooking, melt 4 tbls. butter in a saucepan. Wisk in milk, flour, worcestershire sauce, and season generously with salt and pepper. Let boil for about a minute or two, reduce heat and mix in cheese until melted.

When noodles are done, drain them and place in a large mixing bowl. Pour sauce over noodles and stir well. Put contents in your pan and sprinkle with bread crumbs and remaining butter (melted). Bake for about 45 minutes.

The result: This is very good. Of course, it's hard to go wrong with noodles and cheese. Its not the healthiest food on earth, but I tried to make it better and I really stuck with small portions of it. I ate a one cup serving. 8 servings per pan at about 400 calories a serving.

Light changes: use light butter, skip the bread topping, reduce amount of butter, cup milk to 2 cups, try 1/8 cup white flour and 1/8 cup whole wheat flour, use part skim and reduced fat cheeses, and try using whole wheat pasta! Also, this could be made into a meal by adding a protein and vegetable into the mixture.


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Salmon tonight

Salmon, baby spinach w/ walnuts, tomato's and walnut raspberry dressing, light baked macaroni and cheese. This was so good! Sorry about the bad picture quality, it's so hard to get a good picture at night with energy saving light bulbs.

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Lorrie gets her groove back

I went to DC this past weekend to visit some friends. It was so nice to get out of the city for the weekend to visit a new city and to see the people that I miss. It was a good time, and we had some good food (and not totally unhealthy either.) I had my first visit to the Chipotle chain, which was really good and fresh. And the next night we had really good Vietnamese food.

Anyhow, I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet, but we are moving when our lease is up in September. This isn't totally weight related, but it is something that is going on in my life. We made a list about a month ago of our direction and pro's and con's. I truly love living in NYC and have had great experiences here. I give most of my weight loss credit to the metro train stairs! Seriously, when I moved to ny I was heading upwards in the 315-320 range. And as of today I weigh 281.0. I know its been over a year, and I could have lost a lot more, but I will defiantly take how I feel now over how I felt then. We are moving to a small town in Virginia known as Floyd. I will go into more detail later on why we decided to move here. I feel like I am going from one extreme place to another, but I'm excited about it too.

I really want to thank the bloggers who have continued supporting me even in my lack of posting, reading your comments and following your blogs keeps me reminded that I am apart of this journey too. Krissie has been doing a fabulous job lately with her posts and food logging! She has been going to the gym frequently and doing all of this while looking for a job. I've been reading parts of her weight loss journey for over a year now and its inspiring to hear other people going through the same things that I have gone through and to keep going and continue working towards their goals.

I'd like to get more into logging my weight and food online, so I guess what better time than today? I have some old stuff on the left side of my site that will probably get taken down on archived somewhere today.

First things first...
My weight this morning:

And for fun...
Yesterday's breakfast:

Don't forget about healthy Thursday's tomorrow! If you are participating let me know and I will add you to the entry.

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Creative in the Kitchen: Healthy Thursday

I made it! This here is a recipe that I got from Weight Watchers and it is officially called Layered Mexican Chicken.

It is already pretty healthy at 6 points a serving, but I have some tips that I think make it taste a lot better while keeping it in the good points/calorie range.

The Recipe:
POINTS® Value: 6
Servings: 12
Preparation Time: 20 min
Cooking Time: 45 min
Level of Difficulty: Moderate
This Mexican lasagna will last up to five days in the refrigerator.


  • 1 sprays olive oil cooking spray
  • 2 pound uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast
  • 30 oz canned black beans, rinsed and drained
  • 3 cup fat-free sour cream
  • 2 cup shredded reduced-fat Mexican-style cheese, divided
  • 8 oz chopped green chilies, two 4-oz cans
  • 2 tsp ground cumin
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper
  • 12 medium corn tortilla(s), cut into 2-inch strips
  • 1 cup salsa, mild, medium or hot


  • Preheat oven to 350ºF. Coat a lasagna pan with cooking spray.

  • Place chicken in medium saucepan and fill with enough cold water just to cover chicken. Set pan over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 10 to 15 minutes; drain. When chicken is cool enough to handle, cut into 1-inch pieces.

  • Transfer chicken to a large bowl and add beans, sour cream, 1 cup of shredded cheese, chilies, cumin, and pepper; mix well and set aside.

  • Arrange half of tortillas in bottom of prepared lasagna pan, overlapping pieces to cover surface. Top tortillas with half of chicken mixture, layer with remaining tortillas and then top with remaining chicken mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cup of cheese.

  • Bake until filling is bubbly and cheese is melted, about 30 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before slicing into 12 pieces. Serve with salsa on the side.
Did you read the part about it lasting up to 5 days in the refrigerator? This is strangely true. You'd think it would become a soggy inedible mess after one day, but no, we're still eating it. Even Josh is like "uh this still tastes good" with a suspicious look on his face. He is anti-left overs as he thinks everything is not worth eating the next day.

What would I change? Firstly, I used 2 cups of FF cheddar cheese which I feel was completely useless. Why? Because I couldn't even taste it and it had the texture of plastic. I suggest using real sharp cheddar cheese, but instead of 2 cups cut that stuff down to a 1/2 cup and use it only on the top. Or better yet, 1/4 cup in the mixture and 1/4 cup on top.
Secondly, I would use fajitas or taco season in place of the cumin. I found the recipe to be underwhelming in the flavor department. Josh compensated with a ton of hot sauce which of course he enjoyed. I used taco seasoning and it really came to life! Thirdly, too much fat free sour cream. Again, I am a sour cream fan, but if its free of fat it tends to be more sour than creamy. I would use less than three cups next time. I'd even get really crazy and only add one cup! I'm okay with everything not sticking together perfectly. The chilies are a nice touch, but I'd consider throwing in some jalapeños for a little kick. Finally, I like the idea of throwing the cooked chicken in a skillet with onions and green peppers with a little olive oil spray and putting that in the mixture as well. Perhaps that would decrease the shelf life, but thats okay.

That's it for this Thursday! I hope you are all eating fabulous and healthy meals out there!
Remember, if you are participating leave me a comment and I will add a link to your blog in this entry.


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hello blog, it's me Lorrie

I am officially the worst blogger updated in the entire world. Or something along those lines, did you know that there is a blog campaign out there called :Blogging Without Obligation:? Yup, apparently other people were feeling guilty about not blogging so they created a group to not feel guilty. However, this is a weight loss blog and keeping it updated is important.

I get into these grooves where I mentally over exagerate tasks to the point that I can't even make time to do them. Why has my blog turned into a task? It hasn't and shouldn't, I started this for accountability, for fun, to try out new things. Oh, and for me. I keep forgetting that this is my blog, yet I keep worrying what other people will think. Gasp. I'm so weird about everything sometimes.

So, now I'm blogging and it is planned out and it is very random. And that is okay. Breathe.

So, basically I gained 4 lbs. over the holidays which I lost (according to weight watchers) I went to a meeting the Saturday before last and weighed in at 286.6 lbs. Missed last Saturdays weigh-in and now will probably miss again this week because I am going to DC (woo!.) So, me and the Josh have been waking up at 7am this week to go to the gym. Which is a lot nicer than going after work. I went to the gym twice last week and thats it. Baby steps.

Why is everything that I want to do such a big deal? I mean why do I make the easiest things so much harder on myself? There are people that do things without planning it out, and agonizing over it. They just get it done. And I on the other hand, feel like I have to plan out every detail of my life before I even think about doing it. For example, if I need to do the dishes instead of doing them, I feel like I have to think about it first, write it down, put it on a to-do list and then allocate time for doing them. Its really ridiculous the amount of time I waste not doing anything except for planning.

This week I've been pushing myself to do things even if I feel like I need to plan them. It's very uncomfortable to me, but its important. So that is why I am here blogging. Ideally I'd like to start doing daily food and exercise recording. Its coming. Maybe today? We'll see. I even missed my own blog event last week. How sad is that?!?

Okay, I'm going to stop feeling guilty now. Note: get out of head. Second Note: Just do it! (Thanks Nike)

Good things (thanks Martha): Am the good kind of sore from working out this week.
More good things: eating better

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

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Political dieting

I've been catching up on my blog reading this morning and noticed a chain of bloggers, blogging about a similar topic: Weight Watchers. It started here: Weight Watchen, which lead me to Cranky Fitness and then I landed at Elastic Waist Band. Which leads me to: In the beginning of December I noticed that the ads on my daily ride on the R train went from beer advertisments to Weight Watchers advertisments. I've read each of the catchy slogans at least 50 times in the past month and I kept thinking "oh, its only a matter of time until this pisses someone off and they are blogging about it". I mean, are advertisments ever based on truth? Marketing and capitalism is about creating a want and convincing a lot of people that they need it. And because its a new year people want to lose weight and not go on a diet. Or at least be told that they don't have to go on a diet to lose weight. And there you have it.

To me, the concept is obvious (although I am still fat, and lessons are hard to learn) that if my diet that keeps me fat doesn't change I will never lose weight. Diet is a term used for what you eat day to day, regardless of what it is. You can have a diet of McDonalds or a diet or lettuce. It's all a diet. So, common sense tells me that you cannot have changes by doing the same thing over and over. A change in current diet is needed to lose weight. IE: Learning how to change your diet so that you can live with it and get new results. Now, diets in the losing weight sense really should not be simply called diets they should be called diet changes or modifications. And that is what Watcher Watchers is, or Atkins or South Beach or Jenny Craig, or calorie counting. They are all different ways to lose weight and they all work for different people. So, can we now stop politicizing "diets"?

I am pro-blogging and totally love the idea that the internet gives everyone a voice, so this post is more reflective than anything else.

After reading a lot of the comments on Elastic Waistband, I become increasingly annoyed by the very obvious lack of personal responsibility people want to have for their weight "issues". A lot of women were blaming Weight Watchers for making them spiral out of control and into eating disorders. My first thought is, if you're going to weight watchers because of a weight problem, you already have an eating disorder and you are using food for more than it is intended. Others were mentioning that they would save their points and binge on junk food at the end of the day. Again, no changes were made and no personal responsibility is taken.

A huge lesson that I am still learning about losing weight is that you cannot expect a diet company to change how you eat. There are no books, dvd's, or programs that are the key to losing weight. They are all tools to help you lose weight, but actually doing it is a decision you have to make yourself.

I agree, that a lot of the time when it comes to changing my diet into a healthier one I just want to throw my hands up and say "enough is enough, this isn't a normal way to live". And then the little logical bug in my head says "eating how you were taught to eat, and eating the way you have always eaten is not at all normal". It just isn't normal to fill our bodies with chemicals, processed foods, or deadening natural flavors with salt, oil and sugar. That is not normal or natural. At times, it can seem as though eating in excess and feeling comfortable in that is what is normal, but again I don't think it is. It's just comfort, and feeling uncomfortable at times can not feel normal.

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Comfort Food and Blog Events

I've been a little obsessive with perfecting this recipe, and every time it gets better. This meal is serious comfort food for someone who loves mashed potatoes and gravy drenched meat. That sounds horrible, but I am (sorta) from the south. Anyhow, I know I've posted about this before, but I finally got a decent picture of it that doesn't look like a mass of gravy on a plate. Yum. What should I call this? It reminds me a lot of baked steak, except with chicken and honestly it is so much better! Please try this and let me know if you do. I begged my mom to make it this weekend to see if she loves it as much as I (we, even Josh likes it) do.

I read a lot of blogs with various topics: home decor, crafting, politics, weight loss and food. The food blogs are really interesting to me (of course) and I find that the creation of food and then taking a nice photo of it is really addictive. Not sure exactly why. But, a lot of the food bloggers create blog events where on certain days of the week they blog about the same subject like "magazine recipe Monday" or "sweet Fridays." And I thought it would be cool to create a food event with weight loss bloggers. Creating healthy alternatives to otherwise unhealthy foods and putting new (healthy) spins on old recipes.

So, here it is...I declare: Creative in the Kitchen: Healthy Thursdays!
Every Thursday I will post a recipe (like today) of a meal of my own invention or by putting a new and healthy spin on a existing recipe along with a photograph and points/nutritional information. For those that are participating send me an email (tokenfatgirl@gmail.com) or leave me a comment and I will post your photo and a link to your blog in my entry.

How exciting is this? It's like a virtual pot luck!

PS: 5 Points per pattie

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2008: Day One- I heart curry

I tried my hand at a weight watchers friendly Indian-inspired dinner this evening. The results were decent, although I need some practice. I think I should learn to cook Indian food before I try to make diet versions that I make up.
I've been craving cooked cauliflower lately, so thats what I went for. This is basically a mix of tomatoes, cauliflower, potatoes, onions, curry, yogurt, peas, cumin and salt.

Not too bad until you get to my baked samosas. They were very bland, but I haven't given up yet!

We're getting back on plan around here by counting points again and planning a gym trip tomorrow. I keep reminding myself "one day at a time", slowww dowwwnn.

Thank you for the Etsy store love! You can find a link on the side bar off to the right. Krissie (from Questions for Dessert) was my first customer today! I was so excited I yelled to Josh to tell him about my first sale! Thank you Krissie :) (check out her New Years Eve progress!!) I put more tokens in the shop today and tonight I am working on some new tokens as well as some other projects for the shop.

I've decided that this year in the blog I'm going (haha) to stop saying "I'm going to..." or "I'm planning this..." I'm just going to do and then talk about it while I'm doing it or after I've done it.

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Happy New Year + Etsy Store

It's 1:10 am, my first hour of 2008 and so far so good!
I've spent the day reflecting on 2007 and writing down everything I hope to accomplish in 2008.
This year looks awfully promising and exciting from here. We'll see how enthusiastic I am come July.

Anyhow, my main goal for 2008 is...

YOU GUESSED IT! To lose this f'ing weight once and for all.

It's time to take action. It's time to stop with excuses. It's time to be consistent. It's time to put all that I learned in 2007 into good use!

My main motto for 2008 is to be fearless. To stop the cycle of non-action because of fear, even for the small stuff. Such as "not going to the gym on January 1st because -OMG- they will judge the fat girl working on her short lives new years resolutions" or uh "not learning something because-OMG!- I might fail" gasp! No more.

One of my goals for 2008 is to finally open an Etsy store to go with this blog. I love creating artwork/craftwork and what better way than to combine the two hobbies that I love? This will be one of the two stores that I open this year. The Token Fat Girl store is called "inspiration to go" and will be filled with handmade reminders that you can carry with you or place around your house to remind you that yes you are losing weight and yes it will happen and YES you are totally 100% worth it. Oh, I'm so excited!

The store is now open, and while I've only got one item listed it is sure to grow. I will update here every time I post a new item.

Check it out: tokenfatgirl.etsy.com

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