Daily Objective: emotional check-in

It's no secret that this time of year can be particularly stressful. Buying presents, staying within budget, visiting family members that you may or may not want to see, traveling, and the constant barrage of the years best finger foods and cookies.

Yesterday, I started my day with a cup of coffee before we headed out to finish Christmas shopping. We stopped at a pizza place, I ordered a salad to start and ate two pieces of goat cheese and basalmic vinegar pizza.

And then it happened, I started to get emotionally drained and grumpy. I was in my head the whole time worrying about one thing or another and going through my usual bought of emotional dependence.

By the time that I got home I was ready to eat. I made a hamburger and then proceeded to eat two tomato sandwiches, a grilled cheese and some turkey sausage. I wasn't hungry, I was stressed. And I just wanted to keep eating and feeling comfortable. So instead of thinking about it, or writing down what was troubling me. I ate.

This isn't a new thing. Life happens, but I need to find new ways to deal with my worries.

I wonder this: Are my insecurities a way of sabotage? Do I purposefully drag myself through the mud just to keep myself from succeeding and achieving my goals?

So today, my objective is to check in with my feelings. What is really bothering me? Journaling has always been a helpful tool for me, just to get things out of my head and onto paper. Keeping my hands busy and my mouth empty.

I will work on emotional independence. I will stop trying to please everyone and stop beating myself up over perceived judgment from those around me.

I will work on seeing these patterns and making note of them. When I see that I'm starting to break at the seams, I will take that energy and focus on bettering myself. I will listen to what my body wants, not what my emotional habits want.

PS: I've started responding to all comments in the comments area :)