12/08/2008

Daily Objective: emotional check-in


It's no secret that this time of year can be particularly stressful. Buying presents, staying within budget, visiting family members that you may or may not want to see, traveling, and the constant barrage of the years best finger foods and cookies.

Yesterday, I started my day with a cup of coffee before we headed out to finish Christmas shopping. We stopped at a pizza place, I ordered a salad to start and ate two pieces of goat cheese and basalmic vinegar pizza.

And then it happened, I started to get emotionally drained and grumpy. I was in my head the whole time worrying about one thing or another and going through my usual bought of emotional dependence.

By the time that I got home I was ready to eat. I made a hamburger and then proceeded to eat two tomato sandwiches, a grilled cheese and some turkey sausage. I wasn't hungry, I was stressed. And I just wanted to keep eating and feeling comfortable. So instead of thinking about it, or writing down what was troubling me. I ate.

This isn't a new thing. Life happens, but I need to find new ways to deal with my worries.

I wonder this: Are my insecurities a way of sabotage? Do I purposefully drag myself through the mud just to keep myself from succeeding and achieving my goals?

So today, my objective is to check in with my feelings. What is really bothering me? Journaling has always been a helpful tool for me, just to get things out of my head and onto paper. Keeping my hands busy and my mouth empty.

I will work on emotional independence. I will stop trying to please everyone and stop beating myself up over perceived judgment from those around me.

I will work on seeing these patterns and making note of them. When I see that I'm starting to break at the seams, I will take that energy and focus on bettering myself. I will listen to what my body wants, not what my emotional habits want.

PS: I've started responding to all comments in the comments area :)

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Roxie said...

You are doing good work in trying to break habits and understanding the emotional aspects to eating. You rock!

1:39 PM  
Anonymous Token Fat Girl said...

Hey Roxie,
I think its a hard journey to re-do old habits, but I'm convinced its not impossible. Hope you're having a lovely Monday.
Lorrie
PS: love your 101 in 1001 days list, I'm thinking about doing this myself!

1:45 PM  
Blogger Annie xx said...

I can completely relate to everything that you wrote/feel. >_<
Whenever I feel down, angry or even bored, I reach for junk food. Your blog is quite an inspiration because I'm starting my own diet (blogging about it too ^_^) and I know that I have some rough times looming up ahead.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Token Fat Girl said...

Hi Annie,
Thanks for stopping by!

I think the best advice I can give for tough times is to have a sense of humor.

I too battle with bouts of depression (dysthymia) and know how hard it is to accomplish even simple everyday tasks let alone major life goals.

Each day that I work towards improving myself, it gets easier to control.
I wish you much success with your 40lb by July goal and look forward to reading more about your successes!

Take care,
Lorrie

4:38 PM  
Blogger The Scale Whisperer said...

What a great blog! I used to be an emotional eater, it's tough not turning to food for comfort, but I know food will not solve my problems, in fact it'll only make me feel worse in the end. Keep up the great work!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Skinny Inside said...

This post really spoke to me, thanks! Why is it so difficult to get in touch with ones own emotions?

7:17 AM  
Blogger Heather Waghelstein said...

I'm with you on this topic. I comfort eat way to much and when the need for comfort is gone... I still do. Your doing a great job in your emotional journey. So many forget that.

9:49 AM  
Blogger pinguino adeliae said...

nice blog! your honesty comes across in your writing. question: are you hungarian? the image here looks like macos beles like my grandmother makes! wishing you all the best for the new year!

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your blog, I do the same emotional eating and recognizing it is the first step in changing.

12:04 PM  

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