Juggling Act

Did you know I could juggle? Its true, when I was in 6th grade my gym teacher Miss Lor let me borrow her juggling scarves to practice over spring break. I never brought them back to her, which is pretty typical of me. I loved it, and even moved on to more substantial objects like balls or fruit. I sort of forgot how to juggle and I can't seem to do three anymore, only two.

Oh, how I dislike comparative writing, but it seems that I am juggling things pretty randomly lately. I've got so many things up in the air right now that I just want to go take a nap.

I took the day off yesterday to sort out what I've been putting off for weeks now. I made a list of everything I want to accomplish and everything that is stressing me out about the process. I made a list titled "I'd like to wake up one morning..." and proceeded to list all of the things that would be amazing to wake up to. Being thinner, working from home, have an organized/neat apartment, long and really good hair (for good measure), and a few other more personal things.

I realized that when I first started weight watchers towards the end of January I was being cocky, I thought "oh, this isn't so hard" or "I now know how to lose weight!" if you don't believe me, go read some older entries. Anyway, what I realized was that I wasn't approaching weight loss too differently from any time in the past. I didn't plan for the birthday food that turned into the Easter food that turned into the stress food that turned into the 4th of July food and so admittedly aside from the kickboxing classes I've been floundering around since mid-march.

I hadn't been to a kick boxing class in I don't know how long and I have to say that I was scared to go back. I didn't want to be the typical person that gives up on weight loss, and I was that. I didn't want to be judged. I went last night and realized that I was the only person judging.

I have to say that this blog is the biggest tool for my weight loss. I know I could easily just delete it when things get hard, but instead I've been ignoring it when I haven't been acting up to the standards I've set for myself. I fear what others will think if I write about the hard days instead of just the good days, but I'm only human. So, there will be more honesty around here as far as posting even on the hard days.

I can't count every thing I eat right now. I can, but I'm choosing not to because if weight loss is a life style change I don't see how realistic it is to expect myself to count points or calories for the rest of my life. It is however realistic to write down what I eat every day while I'm losing weight. I've got to start trusting myself around food. The focus around here will not be how many calories I've consumed, but the quality of food I did eat. The management of portions and tuning into real hunger instead of cravings. Its about being healthy and exercising. This is where I'm at right now.

So, thank you little blog for bringing me here. I am making the commitment to blog everyday and to do an end of the day over view with what I ate, my weight and the exercise I did.

Thanks for sticking it out with me!

PS: Fat Brides Maid if you read this please send me your address so that I can send your DVD's to you! tokenfatgirl@gmail.com

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't worry too much about your weight, you're pretty as is. Worry about what you eat, if you avoid fast food and processed foods, you'll be fine. Don't buy they nonsense that you have to be thin to be happy. Lots of guys can't get off with a thin girl.

Keep in mind its up to you what you do, don't change for anyone if you're happy. Best of luck with what you want to do.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Chubby Chick said...

Hey... we all have hard days. Nobody around here is perfect. And we believe in you and will accept the cold, hard truth... no matter what. We're all in this together. :)

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Zookins@new.rr.com said...

Blogging every day should help you tremendously!

I really believe Weight Watchers isn't a diet so much . . . it just makes us *aware* of every, single thing we put in my mouths. And I honestly believe that's 99% of the battle for most of us.

And yeah, you need to come here through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It helps.

8:57 PM  
Blogger FAT BRIDESMAID said...

Awesome post. We've all been there and the important thing is to give it another shot -- which you have, so kudos.

Also, I just emailed you my address. :)

10:50 PM  
Blogger Lily T said...

My blog is also my biggest tool in my weight loss. I was like you about less then a year ago when I returned to school, stressed out, and fell out of the weight loss wagon. I stopped posting because I didn’t have time and I was tired of reporting how bad I was doing. When I started it up again, I had the urge to delete my blog and start a new one. But then I reasoned that it wouldn’t portray an honest picture of my journey. That success doesn’t always come in a steady stream, so I kept it. I’m glad that you’re keeping at it; and really, isn’t that the real secret to weight loss?

11:52 AM  
Blogger Lady T said...

hey..it happens....and the blogging helps. seriously....i've pretty much been at a standstill weightloss wise for well over a month...approaching 2 actually. but blogging has kept me holding on.....and if you've ever read some of my entries...you can see that its not easy....not at all. nearly every week i have a VERY hard day...or two...or a hard week for that matter.

come on girl.....deciding to get back on track is half the battle. its a new month....new opportunity to get it right.

2:02 PM  

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