8/24/2007

Obsession

I just got done reading another great entry over at 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat! In her latest entry she mentions how much she thinks about weight every day. Not just losing weight, but everything that goes through her mind on a daily basis that is weight related.

I can definitely relate to this and I think a lot of people with weight issues deal with it too. I'm always curious about the things thin people think about. Do they think about food a lot? Do they feel guilty about the food choices they make? Do they avoid certain foods?

I know it sounds silly, but the only answers that I usually get are from my boyfriend Josh who sometimes seems to think like a fat person, but acts like a thin person. We had a discussion once and he said something along the lines of "I don't get what the problem is? If you have a weight problem, you do what you can to lose it. You exercise and eat less. If thin people notice a 5lb. gain they take care of it. It is an issue of health and taking care of yourself. Food is only for nutrition." This wasn't a stab at me, this was me asking why he thinks some people are fat and some are thin.

He is someone who will eat an entire gallon of ice cream if it is around...or a box of crackers, snacks...whatever. But, the catch is, he avoids the foods they he is tempted to over eat. And the answers are simple as to why he does this: a) it makes him sick b) he will gain weight c) its not healthy d) these foods do not provide nutrients.

So why is it harder for some people (me) to get these simple solutions. Losing weight is hard because the act of being thin does not come natural to me. I really think this is why so many people gain weight back after they follow the solutions to lose weight. You know, less food+exercise= weight loss. So what happens when you reach the solution to the problem? Does your brain catch up?

Can we ever begin to think thin?

Being fat is mentally exhausting. I wonder, what will we worry about when the fat is gone? Will we miss all of the thoughts that involve being fat? The thoughts start as soon as I wake up and they are so silly and seemingly mundane...they go like this "i weigh 276" ..."my body is massive" and then i go into the kitchen and figure out what I want for breakfast which is an ordeal mentally as in "that choice isn't what someone trying to lose weight would make" , "how many calories are in that?"...and then I go in the shower pretty much ignore my mass and then I get dressed and think "I wish I could wear xyz, but that would be inappropriate for someone my size" and then it goes outside and I catch my reflection in windows as I walk to the train. I wonder who is staring at my fat, who is judging me and my thighs that take up more than a seat. I make it to work, deal with more food choices and other critical thoughts about myself and my weight.

So now I ask myself, what happens if I begin putting a stop to all of my internal fat talk. What if I begin thinking as a thin person? I'm not talking about the one in ten people that can seemingly eat whatever they want, because that fades with age and I've found that most of those human eating machines are usually working out anyway, so there aren't too many naturally blessed people that I've met.

What if I begin pinpointing the sabotaging "fat talk" and stopping it? What if I start thinking and acting like the healthy person that I want to be?

I challenge anyone who reads this: For one day, start challenging the internal dialog that you have with yourself. Cut it off and tell yourself to "stop." Tell yourself that you are healthy and act accordingly.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Krissie said...

Your post today rocks. I'm thinking thin!
And then there's my husband who thinks fat sometimes and is incredibly thin. He will finish a gallon of ice cream, or eat three servings of dinner. And he's so thin. Oh well. I guess he deserves it.

6:41 PM  
Blogger Glossy said...

Good challenge. I'll give it a go. I definitely think like a fat person and I do feel like it is on my mind on a daily basis. Positive thinking is so hard when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror.

3:31 AM  
Blogger Marshmallow said...

What a great idea, Lorrie! I'm going to have a go at it myself - positive thinking is a much more powerful and useful tool than self degradation. This adds to the idea of mental and emotional health being part of the whole 'getting healthy' process. I like it :-D

6:02 AM  
Blogger Chubby Chick said...

I read the post you mentioned, and I can totally relate to it and to your post. I am constantly thinking about my weight. My weight and size is on my mind from the minute I wake up in the morning until the minute I fall asleep at night.

I think one of the reasons that thin people don't have an obsession with food and weight is because the majority of the time food is something used to simply fuel their bodies. And I've found that for alot of overweight people, food has become something much more. It's turned into an emotional crutch. We eat for emotional reasons, not so much for physical or nutritional reasons. Finally winning the mental battle is what's going to help me to lose the weight and begin to think more positively about food, body image, and life in general.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

What a neat post.
I think the toughest part about losing weight is suddenly there is all this blank space in your mind that used to be filled with endless, repetitive thoughts of food, dieting, binging, plans for losing weight, desserts, etc.
Then you have to face crap like loneliness, where your life is, the difference between where your life is and where you want it to be, the decision and mistakes you are stuck with forever, etc.
I'm glad I'm no longer obsessed with weight ...but I miss it. Does that make any sense?

7:48 PM  
Blogger Dave Patrick said...

Hey, I was about 45 pounds overweight, then I got type 2 diabetes, pretty much got my act together overnight, after that.....NO MORE SUGAR, seriously, this works like a charm. cut out sugar and high and medium glycemic foods. Im sure we've heard it a thosand times but the weight will fall off within months, even without additional exercise.
Just have patience.
All the best. Dave
www.theunknownweightlossfact.com

9:47 AM  
Blogger Saffa Chick said...

Hi - cool blog.

I'm hardly "thin", but there's a chance you'd think I am because I "only" have around 10 pounds to lose... and I think about food a lot. I do weightwatchers and I am constantly figuring out the points in my food, and forcing myself to walk away from the vending machine and have an apple instead, and it is a mental struggle every time I refuse dessert. My clothes are too tight and I dislike shopping right now because I don't want to go up a dress size. I feel awkward naked in front of my boyfriend because I was thinner when he met me, and surely he's disappointed in me now. When I see my reflection in store windows I wince and try to suck in my gut.

So don't worry, when you're at goal and maintaining, or hovering just over your ideal weight, you'll still think about food and your body! You just won't beat yourself up as much as you do now... you go girl!

11:17 PM  

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