6/18/2008

be kind to yourself

Be Kind To Yourself. Four words that I heard recently and have really stuck with me. While trying to lose weight it is so easy to constantly be unkind, we beat ourselves up over everything we put in our mouths and every pound on the scale. I believe it is important to be realistic about weight loss and in understanding the damage that excess weight can cause. Being overweight, on one hand is being highly unkind. On the other hand, sometimes the lack of kindness could be keeping us fat?

As someone who grew up fat, I sometimes wonder if I had been treated kinder and celebrated for my achievements rather than my shortcomings, well, I wonder if it would make is easier to be kinder to myself as an adult. Instead of hearing "your are beautiful, funny and smart" many times I was teased about my weight by close family, relatives and class mates. I mostly heard "if you were my daughter I'd feed you only salads" or "you really should go for a walk". While I don't blame people for their reactions to an overweight child, sometimes I feel like I am still punishing myself for the unkindness of others. On some level, I know I've been sabotaging myself and keeping myself fat because I don't feel worthy of happiness.

So now that I am older and in adulthood, things tend to get a lot easier and I realize its up to me to celebrate myself and to be kinder to my body. Not just with diet and exercise, but in the way I internally speak to myself on a daily basis. On taking care of basic things, and keeping up with my appearance. Not out of vanity, but because I deserve it.

What are ways that we can be kinder to ourselves?

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6 Comments:

Blogger FAT BRIDESMAID said...

I take moments to rest, even if it's just for ten minutes. I close my door, lay down on the bed and just breathe for a little bit. It makes a world of difference for me.

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Robert said...

I really think family can be a big factor in your self confidence and in the long run mental health.
It's one thing to get teased at school, everyone gets teased at some point, but when your family throws it at you too it's almost like you have nowhere to hide.

I know 90% of the time they are just having "fun" but when your younger it is hard to understand this and it can make you feel alienate and make the problem worse.

On the same note pampering to yourself and children can be a problem, if someone is overweight they should address it, not because "people should be thin" but because you should want to be healthy and live longer.

It's a difficult balance to strike but at the end of the day it's all about honesty.

5:47 AM  
Anonymous MizFit said...

In my opinion it's as simple as treating ourselves as we would a best friend (or, in some instances, as we even would a person we pass on the street!).

everything from NOT being as self critical to surprising ourselves with balloons or flowers every once in a while!

On Monday Im talking about something which works for *me* called a decadence list.

GREAT post!

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Johnny said...

For one thing, you are SO worthy of happiness. This is very big for me, because I have perpetually beat myself up over this very same thing. I would get comments from family too, and the sad thing is, THEY WERE HUGE! I think they did it out of their own anger and frustrations. I saw a nutritionist a few years ago that kept drilling me with the whole "you're-an-emotional-eater" bit. I don't know if she was entirely right, but maybe to some degree...like you said, others unkindness may have contributed to my like of desire for attempts at a healthier life...

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Benjamin said...

I think the last part of your post is so important. Self talk is something most of us need to work on. How many people do you know or communicate with on a regular basis really have a positive self image? I think if you were to really examine, you'd be surprised that negative self-talk is one of the biggest hindrances to happiness...as well as weight loss or weight management.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Tara said...

Living with a gorgeous blonde cheerleader is a breeding ground for self cruelty when you know that you're the 'ugly best friend' in everybody's eyes. My whole first year living with her I was so harsh on myself that I couldn't stand to go out with her for fear of the comparison but now I make sure to be more kind to myself. I point out my good points to myself more often and try not to compare. Everybody is different!

7:00 AM  

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