Daily Objectives: grooming
I will be the first to admit that when it comes to primping, I only do it when I'm going out in public. If you came to my house right now you would find a sad sight: pajamas, unruly hair, un-showered, bra-less, chipped nail polish, and unshaven legs. I am a sad example of societies primed and preened woman.
I've never been one to make hair appointments, not because I don't value my hair, but I much prefer to cut it myself with the sharpest scissors I can find in my craft bin. I've had my nails done maybe five times in my life. I don't do tanning beds (well not since I was 16, and thought it was cool to have a tan all year 'round), and my feet are a whole other entry unto themselves.
I'll probably never be a every-six-weeks-hair-cut girl, thats just not my style. Or a pedi/mani power luncher, that isn't me either. But, I could really step it up around here and do some housekeeping with myself on a regular basis.
I know I'm making it seem like I am rarely a site to be seen, I do put on makeup before I go out because its a very long standing habit of mine and for the most part I can pull off a presentable look. What I'm talking about here is weekly and daily appointments with myself to look and feel better. The extra step to tell myself that I am worth the extra effort.
When I look my best, I do my best. I haven't quite figured out the correlation, but when its all done: hair? check. feet smooth and polished? check. exfoliated? check. decent hair style? check. smooth legs? check. eyebrows? check. I just want to do better things.
Josh once brought up the argument about men not noticing eye brows or feet or nails, but they do notice when women take care of themselves in the form of having a fit body. But, I can't help to notice that when I stop taking care of the small details that make me feel good, I stop taking care of my health as well.
It's now 4pm and I haven't showed, but I am really going to start making a real effort to get ready in the morning. And make a maintenance schedule with myself.
I'm curious to find out how you all feel about this subject, are there beautifying rituals that you do that are absolutely essential to your well being?
posted by Lorrie at 4:04 PM
22 Comments:
I just started thinking about that. I find that I feel more beautiful and take care of myself more when I feel that I look prettier. That includes finding clothes that fit! Waking up a little extra early to shower, wash my hair, lotion up, put on a bit of makeup, etc. Those days that I roll out of bed, throw on dirty jeans, don't make my bed, pull my hair into a pony tail, I tend to not smile, eat less healthy and feel generally less beautiful and thus less good about myself. I guess it's worth the effort
Lila, I saw on your blog that you are sick :( hope you start feeling good again soon. It seems like everyone I know is catching the sick bug lately. Get well.
And two, I defiantly agree: we are worth the effort.
If I don't feel pretty and taken care of it affects every part of my life. That being said I am not overly high maintenance. I only get a hair cut every 4 months don't wear make up every day. However I never skimp on skin care, showers, or pedicures. They give me confidence, make me feel pretty. When I feel pretty, I take better care or myself and others...so its s cycle really.
Also, being a fat girl for most of my life has made me always want to defy the stereotypes. If I have to be fat I want to be put together, clean, and polished.
This post totally hit home with me. I've been having a hard time with this ever since my sophomore year of college (I'm graduated now). I definitely feel better about myself when I fix my hair, do a weekly facial, keep my nails nice, wear a bit of makeup, etc. I'm not sure why I don't do it more often. I love feeling pretty. I guess what the underlying issue is that I don't feel like I'm worth it -- and realizing that is terribly depressing. I'm tired of being 'the heavy girl' too. Tonight is a particularly bad night, because we went to my husband's work party and I didn't have makeup on (we went immediately after I went to the gym) and I ate like a bear. So I'm stuffed and I feel unattractive. I think I'm going to start TOMORROW by taking better care of my physical appearance. I've always really respected bigger girls who take the time to make themselves pretty. The extra time and care they put in shows.
Okay, sorry, that was way long and you don't even know me, haha, but I follow your blog and I appreciate how 'real' you are on it.
Thanks,
Monique
I was just thinking this same thing. Ever since I started working from home, I've gotten more and more slovenly. I used to go to coffee shops to work just to get out of the house, but they are too many temptations there. Just this week I started going to the library to work and use their internet. It's free, it gets me out of the house and you don't get dirty looks for hogging up a whole table.
This blog resonates with me. I used to make the effort to do the make-up, dress-up thing. I soon came to the sad realization that it didn't matter. It didn't matter because I was still fat and would not be noticed by guys as date potential. Of course, my friends have tried to convince me to come out of my comfy stage, but I have resisted as I've gotten older. I've taken on the look of scrubbed, sporty, running shoes, etc. Ironic, as I hate any form of excercise. However, I do feel better when I make the effort to look nice. Perhaps, this will be my goal for the next week.
I used to make sure that when I went out I was freshly showered, dressed, lotioned and made up. But after I stopped working I really let my standards slip. And I would be bra-less, unshowered and uncombed by the time my husband got home, usually in a sarong or a nightie. It's only recently, after starting my Eat to Live program that I've done a complete 180 degrees. Once I'm done cleaning the house or tending to the garden, I have a soak in the jacuzzi, followed by a shower, some make-up (even if only mascara and lip gloss) and proper clothes. I have an appointment for a pedi, leg wax, underarm wax, brow wax and tint for next week and there's a packet of hair dye in my bathroom cabinet.
I am starting to look after myself again... in all areas of my life. And I wear the good clothes - they're going to be too large for me soon anyway!
I had a moment about this recently as well...different (OH NO. I AM THAT MOM WHO HAS GIVE UP!!) but the same.
I need to step up my grooming game...for ME.
Especially in the winter, it's so easy to look like crap! I just read an article that said there are basically 2 things that attract men to women, 1) a figure, and 2) style. The article defined a figure as not so much a certain weight, rather as having a certain hip-to-waist-to shoulder ratio, i.e. a defined waist. A figure! And the style thing pretty much came down to looking cared for and well groomed, as opposed to sloppy stained t-shirt and ponytail.
I, for one, find this totally believable, and it cheered me up because, it really is achievable.
Atmikha
Since I'm not working right now I use that as an excuse not to "primp". Wake up, exercise, take a shower, put sweats on, throw the hair in a ponytail, and definitely no makeup. I had an interview the other day and had to get all dressed up, what a difference it makes. I came home in a better mood. Don't remember if it affected my eating one way or another, but I know I felt different. I guess it's just easier not to do all of that, just like losing weight...it's easier not to. Think I might make more of an effort to do some extra primping, see how/what the changes are.
I think there are women who look amazing with a completely natural look and there are women who look amazing with a little help from Sephora. I admit that I'm into the grooming (not the power mani/pedis so much as the trips to the salon for a wash and cut every six weeks) but mainly because looking good makes me FEEL good. But that's me. To each her own.
I've started phoning it in with my appearance at work. I hate my current job so why bother with make-up, cute outfits, etc? But it all made me feel like a slug. Slacking with my appearance made me slack in other parts of my life too. So I started forcing myself to take one night a week (Sunday) to do above and beyond with the grooming stuff. I exfoliate, paint my toe nails, pluck eyebrows, whatever -- and I start my week off feeling kinda awesome.
a girl worth losing,
yes, I know what you mean about defying "fat girl stereotypes". Me and a friend years ago made a list of "fat girl rules" ie: no animal print.
haha, its funny, but also mean.
you are stunning!
mk, I agree that with your sentiment about not feeling worth it to do these extra things, but we so are!
I think sometimes we wait until we are at our goal weight to not wear sweats anymore or men's t-shirts, but I can't help but to think that being who we dream to be now will get us to our weight loss goals much more easily.
I think its great that you showed up after the gym! :)
Giyen, yes! I am really trying to shoot for me "get dressed and work at the library days" I'm right there with you :) Not only would it force me to get dressed, I would probably get a lot more done!
anonymous, I know what you mean I tend to go through the same stages, or did before Josh. I think while Josh prefers a natural girl he is really appreciates when I make effort to look nice.
I think when we take care of ourselves and we feel more confident, men will notice.
Hanlie, that is so wonderful! I love hearing this and it is so motivating.
Thats the great thing about life is that we can choose to be different, we can choose to be better.
Mizfit, It is for you! You're a beautiful mom.
anonymous two, men are so simple :) haha
Sometimes I think feeling badly about myself in some way or another has left me more vulnerable to men and extra eager to please, which is never a good thing.
Looking back, I wish that I would have had more confidence and higher standards, but then again I finally did that when I met Josh.
Anyhow, yes, I think style and figure and confidence and a sense of humor can snag a good man :)
Chew to lose,
I love your morning routine! I;m curious to hear if your extra primping helps with any other aspects of your life :)
Good luck with your future employment!
FB, girl, you DO look good and your feeling good resonates! I totally respect your diligence to do things that make you feel fabulous :)
You looked that way for your interview and I'm rooting for you to get that job.
I've definitely noticed that I feel better about myself when I pay attention to grooming. For me, it's about taking the time to slow down and make small, conscious decisions. (just like you blogged about the other day and like I've been blogging about since...and others too - this living in the moment thing is on a lot of bloggers' minds :)
When I'm not doing well health-wise, I'm just a ball of simultaneously frantic/depressed energy and every decision I make seems like an impulse to comfort or zone out. Doing something small like plucking my eyebrows (which WILL go mono-brow on me!) is just a moment to press re-set on a destructive day and break that cycle by doing something positive for myself. So, I'm not consistent, but I try to do my hair and makeup. I am pretty consistent about the maintenance - plucking eyebrows, getting haircuts, filing and cleaning nails. This is silly, but I get really bad dry skin on my feet and the biggest thing for me has been using this Revlon pumic stone everyday in the shower. It works so well and it's such a small thing that makes me instantly feel better about starting my day.
Hi! I am new to the whole blogging thing and I was trying to find some other blogs that I would enjoy keeping up with and I came across yours today and I love it!
I totally agree too with the grooming thing. I LOVE sleeping in (who doesn't) so I only leave just enough time to shower, eat, and put on makeup (thats something I will never leave the house without). But I NEVER doing anything nice to my hair before work, I don't even pu t a hair dryer to it, I just put a headband in and walk out the door.
But you are right, the times that I do spend more time on myself, I feel sooo much better about being me, no matter how much I weigh.
Great Post! I look forward to reading more!
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