3/08/2008

secrets out

I'm here, as promised. I suppose this is where I tell you what in the world I've been doing all week that is so secretive? I can't say, just yet.

Just kidding. It's really nothing new, after all this is a weight loss blog. So, here it is, I tried a new diet. Shock. Gasp. I kept it a secret because I'm always starting a new diet, I'm always starting over and I'm always talking and analyzing my behavior or lack of action or whatever. I just needed to do it first, without talking about how it's going and the ups and downs of the first week of doing things differently. Let me tell you, the first day was hard. The third day was hard. And then on the fourth day it was suddenly easy. I stopped mourning over the lack of junk food day to day. And it was still easy on the fifth day.

What happened? I stopped thinking, mourning, obsessing over food. At first, I was sad and crazy to say the least. Josh witnessed it, and I'm so glad I didn't blog about it. Because now I know how fleeting those feelings were. They were as though the denial monster was rearing its ugly head at me. You see, this past weekend was great food-wise. And when I said great I mean I had a big breakfast at the diner, I had Vietnamese, I had my first macaron. I forget what else I had, I'm sure Chinese food was in there. Sunday night, I felt out of control, I was seeking direction and I needed to do something immediately and differently.

How did this all start? Well, Sunday on our way to Manhattan we stopped into a magazine shop and I saw one of those cheap women's rag magazines. You know the ones that are $1.99 and promise 50 lbs. weight loss in two months and then they have all of those over the top desserts in the back? Yeah. I stopped buying those a long time ago and not sure what pushed me to buy it. Anyhow, on the train I started flipping through it and read the diet of choice in the magazine was Suzanne Somers diet, Somersize. I laughed, and then I read and I started thinking. I liked what she talked about, but I didn't like the complication of eating foods only three hours after another and having fruit on an empty stomach. I wondered if all of that was really necessary.

And I kept thinking. I started thinking about my time(s) on Atkins and then thought about the south beach diet and Weight Watchers Core and then about her diet. I noted the common thread between all of them: no flour, sugar, or starch. And then I thought about how people go on about how unhealthy it is to not eat carbs, but I never felt that people were suggesting to not eat carbs at all. They were suggesting that white bread and twinkies should be left out of daily or weekly rotations.

What I knew then and what I know even more now is that, sugar in any form makes me crave more sugar. And I went through a mourning period without it. I really did. It was like "why can't I eat it?!!? Poor me." It was pathetic, I think I rolled around on the bed whining about how unjust life is. I got over it though, I realized that my only "thing" is my weight, and my only battle is food. What in the hell am I whining about?

So I created a version of my own that uses the commonalities of all of these diets with some twists of my own that I can surely tweak as I go along if I find they aren't working. It's pretty common sense if you think about it. When asked, what is healthy? Without any diet in mind I think :good fats (olive oil, nuts, fish), lean meat, whole grains, fruit. There really isn't a place for junk food. Sometimes I get really annoyed with the 100 calorie packs I see. As if, 100 calories of over processed empty calories will save us all from being fat. What? For real.

What did I eat?

I thought a great deal about this, I knew I did not want to count calories or points. I wanted to think less about food and focus more on hunger. Duh.

Why is the obvious stuff so hard to get? I wanted to eat food that I like and provide something nutritionally. Mostly, I wanted my cravings to go away.

This is what I came up with:

Lean Meat and vegetables: I allowed myself to eat as much of these as I wanted. I never felt the need to just sit around eating chicken by the pound so yeah.
Fruit: Eat 3-4 servings a day: I avoided bananas, but did have apples, grapes, berries and I believe I had an orange in there.
Fatty Meats: 1-2 servings a day: Things like bacon, pepperoni and fried chicken wings (no breading)
Nuts: 1/4 of a cup a day
Gains/Beans: 2-3 servings a day: Whole wheat bread, whole wheat wraps, 1/2 cup brown rice, 1/2 cup beans, unsweetened oatmeal, 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta.
Fat (real butter and olive oil): try to keep minimal, but 1-2 tbls. a day if so choose
Cheese: about 2 servings a day
Other dairy: Plain yogurt, cream cheese, cottage cheese, milk: 2-3 servings a day
Occasional treats: south beach diet bars, kashi bars, sugar free pudding/popsicles etc.
Once a week: One serving of dessert (sugar!!) if I so choose
Every two weeks: One day to allow for planned events eating, like birthdays etc. To eat in moderation what I want.

Phew. Typing that all made it seem more complicated that it actually is. These were merely guidelines that I adhered to, but bluntly if it was white, sugary or my common sense told me not to eat it, I didn't.

Great things happened though, I was out on a walk with my co-worker and stopped in a local grocery store for some chicken jerky, string cheese, nuts, berries etc. And he wanted pizza on our way back. I didn't get a slice, but if I was counting calories or points I probably would have fit it in. Which in one way, I could argue would make those diets more livable. But, I can never have pizza without wanting more pizza and then wanting pizza the next day and then the next day. Another day a co-worker bought me a pastry-looking cookie that truthfully looked so very good and delicate and yummy. I looked at it and without thinking I made some excuse about not liking that type of cookie (lie.) He was a little hurt because I think we was excited about giving it to me, but I just thanked him a thousand times anyway. I guess what got me, was that it didn't take a mountain of will power to just say no. But, had I not cut these items out of my diet, you can bet your ass I would have eaten them. And it wouldn't have stopped there.

Monday morning I got on the scale and it read 283. Sigh. Back here again? I thought. Monday was the only day that I actually wrote down what I ate. Here are my actual words:

food monday march 3rd - morning weight 283.0 3
eggs w/ provolone

3 slices of bacon about
10 pecan halves

5-6 strawberries
chicken jerky

2.5 servings of soy crisps

10 hot wings w/ sauce
notes: felt overwhelmed and scared that new diet plan wouldn't work, actually mourned over foods not eating. Did not feel bloated. Did not count foods, ate until full.

food tuesday march 4th- morning weight 281.0



As you can see, I had intentions to record Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Nor did it happen for the rest of the week. As far as exercise, I did more walking on my lunch break. Me and Josh were complaining about how hard it is to go to the gym in the winter and our lack of motivation to go in the morning or evening. We both want to go mid-day, which will be possible when I'm working at home, but now I think we will just have to go to the gym at different times. Hmm. Still working on that.

The diet went pretty well, but I'd be lying if I said I stuck to everything rigorously. I defiantly have room for improvement. This wasn't a grocery- eat- at -home week. So almost everything I was bought in small batches at the store or I ate out. I had fried chicken wings one night and then tried to again the next night but the veins grossed me out. It probably didn't help that I was trying to eat them while watching Dexter. On some days I clearly ate way too many nuts, pepperoni or cheese. Most mornings I ate eggs with cheese and bacon. One morningI had an omelette with ham and vegetables, and another morning I had egg whites with toast. I had whole wheat toast with butter a couple of times. I made these great pizzas last night: large whole wheat tortilla with pepperoni, cheese and basil. They were so good, we each had two. I clearly did not need to eat two, and sickness resulted. Lesson learned. One day I had three south beach diet bars, clearly out of control with those. The maple flavor is so good. I need to eat more vegetables, so I went to store yesterday and stocked up.

I had to work on mentally not stressing out, which I'm still working on. Thoughts like "will this actually work?" or "am I eating too much?" crept in my head, but I did my best to calm worried thoughts. This diet does not aim at being in ketosis, at all. And though I felt like I was eating a lot, I don't think my calories were that high. I didn't have any whole wheat pasta or beans this week, there are still a lot of foods that I'm exploring with. Which is why I'd like to keep a food journal at least in the beginning to see what foods work and what don't. I want to keep things as simple as possible. I haven't had my weekly dessert yet, but it really did motivate me on a small level at the beginning to know that I am eating healthfully and can still have dessert, literally on occasion. Occasion as in, once a week, not once a day. I have a birthday coming up on Friday, so that will be used as a free day I'm sure. So yeah, I feel good. I feel like I am going in the right direction. And my goal of 240 by June 22nd looks so possible from here.

Here is the scale this morning:

Cropped out ugly feet, of course.
I swear at one point it was .5 pounds lower. Technicalities! I realize that this is only one lb. lower than last week, and I know that a lot of this is water weight. But, its a new low as of recently and it feels good that I was able to eat foods that I love and never go hungry and the scale is down and not up. I really thought about it, and I can make a lot of the foods I love with this way of eating.

I also want to add that I made a list of things I want to work on with myself and taking better care of my skin is one of them. So I start a 30-day skin care treatment, that I've been using diligently. It feels good to take care of myself, one day at a time.




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12 Comments:

Blogger Krissie said...

I am so excited for you!

I get angry at junk food as well. That's why I'm trying to cut out processed foods as much as possible. I just can't give myself permission to eat those stupid WW Carrot Cakes 'cause I'll eat them until the box is gone.

I am glad that you took the time to find a plan that you can live - and lose - with. The more effort I put into something, the longer I stick with it because of the investment.

7:36 PM  
Blogger You'd be so pretty if... said...

Ohh the mourning period-it's so hard! I'm so excited to follow you along with this!

11:03 PM  
Blogger amroache said...

Your diet is actually extremely similar to the diet I'm on right now (WW CORE) and I know that feeling when you've broken the sugar addiction and it's a great one. Good for you.

11:42 PM  
Blogger S. B. W. said...

Hang in there! I'm rooting for you! Shana http://lifestyle4living.blogspot.com/

11:22 AM  
Blogger Lyn said...

That sounds like a pretty healthy, well-balanced plan. I eat similarly, but I also choose low fat dairy like 2% cheese.

Hope it continues to work for you :)

2:19 PM  
Blogger FAT BRIDESMAID said...

AWESOME! I'm glad you're discovering something that works well for YOU and that you can manage without a ton of stress. It sounds like you're going a really healthy approach to things and seeing great results! And I know what you mean about not wanting to count points -- I'm getting bored with it and starting to make lazy decisions.

Good work woman! Keep at it and you'll have no trouble hitting that pre-wedding goal!

3:33 PM  
Blogger Takeonestripperpole said...

Sounds great! I think it is all about balance and taking it one day at a time. I agree with the fact that taking care of ourselves ... and not just the diet ... like our skin is important too. I just started a new face care regime in the past few weeks and love it! It will be fun to hear about your progress with all of this! :)

3:38 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Wow--how exciting for you! I have read your blog for a while now and you sound exactly like me when it comes to food. I really like your plan and have been wanting to come up with something like that for myself--maybe I'll copy yours. :)

I just have one question--and it may be stupid--but why no bananas? Is there something I don't know--are they not as good for you as other fruits? Just wondering...

10:09 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Your food plan sounds a lot like mine. I also get the sugar addiction, but I know I can have a 60 calorie chocolate bar and not need to spend the rest of the week on the treadmill.

I never technically got on to WW, but being able to eat whatever I wanted and just associating a point value to it just didn't seem like it would work for me, though my mom has lost 29lbs on ww.

I'm the FG (fat girl) in the grocery store who checks the labels on everything I buy for myself.

Good going on finding something that works for you! Keep it up!

Erin
http://marriedsinglemomof3.blogspot.com/

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good that you want to feel better and be more healthy, but you should know, you are gorgeous as you are.

12:27 AM  
Blogger RDanielHarteis said...

You know....life is really short. I know you want to be healthy (YAY you!) I think if you move your body (walking is wonderful) and you eat things that are healthy for you that the weight will come off.
that talking to yourself (you know those words like "I'm fat" and all the negative self talk....ect) if you can tell yourself things like "I'm beautiful" and "I am getting healthier" I bet you will feel better on your journey.
BEST OF WISHES on your life of health!

10:03 AM  
Anonymous NCN said...

I'm down 25 pounds since September 29... and I'm following a similar diet... strawberries, lemons, green veggies, lean meats, and raw nuts... no junk, no sugars, no bars, no gimmicks... just real, honest-to-goodness food...

Keep up the great work!
NCN

7:45 PM  

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