Round Two, oh! and a brides maid

I went to my second kick boxing class last night. It was really good, and I feel proud of myself for going and giving it everything I can. The repetitions were more grueling this time, but I just kept going and it felt amazing. The instructor even said she was proud of me. The jumping jacks prove to be the hardest part for me, so I do a modified version of it by moving my feet and arms instead of jumping.

The other hard part is all of the mirrors, its tough to watch my large body amongst all of the thin ones around me. I am lumpy, swollen and red/blue faced. The reflection makes me disappointed, but inspires me to keep going. I found myself looking up or down instead of straight ahead to avoid my reflection.

My appetite is a little hard to control this week, I'm not sure if it is due to more exercise or my upcoming period. I’ve been eating the same sandwich at this place called City Sub near my job. I’m a tad bit obsessed with sandwiches, especially the ones at City Sub. I’ve been going there so much lately that the sandwich guy has it memorized. Is that sad or funny?

I will assume that my appetite is due to my period as I have been increasingly moody and irritable this week. Sometimes I can project a lot of unnecessary negativity and unhappiness. I don't feel unhappy, but mostly confused. Confused about my place in the world and my direction.

I'm dedicating the day to figuring out my goals and direction and how to get there.

Also, my sister has informed me that I will be her brides maid in her October wedding. I'm so excited for her, and excited to be apart of her wedding. I’m so looking forward to it! Seeing my sister get dressed up and getting dressed up myself. Seeing my close friends and family and being there with Josh. Oh, and having a brother-in-law which I am being really geeky and cheesy about!