Porch in the City

I took a small little blog break because I was feeling a sorry for myself, so rather than blogging about it, I just took action. I went to the gym mid-week and did exercise B (lower body) along with a little cardio, but still had trouble managing my food. I had a long talk with josh that involved tears (on my part) because I was feeling down on myself on things like:
-not having a lot of friends in new york
-being tired of researching, calculating and tracking all of my points and calories
-maintaining the same weight for close to two months
-eating too much
-being lazy, etc.

After all of this I felt better and ready to make changes to continue with my weight loss journey. I’m finding ways to fill up my life that do not involve food.

Yesterday we went to the gym and did session A (upper body strength training) and then about 30 minutes of cardio, then we came home and ate shrimp cocktails on our make-shift porch (which is basically two chairs and a table in front of the fire escape window…welcome to new york) while listening to wilco, then we went for a walk that turned into a bigger walk from 72nd street to 86th, after we got to 86th we caught the bus to coney island and walked around and sat on the beach with some very strange people, then we took the train home, stopped at subway and then finished walking home.

It was a very fulfilling, active, happy day for both of us. I came home feeling relaxed, energized and the way I did when I was a kid coming home in the evening after spending the day outside.

It felt good to use my body and it felt even better that my body was able to keep up.

I started logging my food again on weightwatchers.com, which despite paying about 17$ a month is a helpful tool that doesn’t involve calculating or research on every morsel of food that is consumed. My first weigh in will be a week from today and I will update my food weekly instead of daily because I’m tracking it on the weight watchers website as well.

I feel like I’m learning a lot of lessons about being an adult and who I am and where I want to be. It seems that when I start questioning, the answers just sort of show up when I’m open and willing to act.

I am seeking happiness in moments, and activities rather than food. I know that the idea of sitting on a “porch” is silly to make someone happy, but I can honestly say I haven’t felt more calm lately than I have sitting in our chairs, listening to music, staring out the window. At night, it involves candles, possible drinks and soaking feet in water. It feels calm, a feeling that is hard to get in this city.