3/11/2007

I'm here

Another week came and went in a snap. Here are the highs and lows of the week:

Highs:
Got a new (josh's old) computer with loads of music
went up the 5 flights of stairs once
got over sickness
very good work related news
Started monthly
cleaned house and began shedding of winter skin

Lows:
Didn't exercise
Started monthly
ate-retained-gained
didn't blog or record food (ie: half-assed mental tracking)
missed weight watchers meeting due to lateness from time change
battled sickness and extreme cold outside most of week


So that is that.

I am reminded this week about a story my college counselor once told me in relation to my weight and bad habits. She told me that growing up her family never wore seatbelts. It was the late 70's early 80's and it just wasn't enforced or a habit. Until the seatbelt commercials started, it became a law and was enforced. She said that they hated it at first, it was uncomfortable and on occasion they would forget to buckle up, but eventually it became a habit and it was no longer uncomfortable.

My hope is, that my bad habits will turn a new leaf and no longer be weird or uncomfortable. Because of my weight loss last week, I gotlazy. I got too confident and then the PMS settled in. All excuses, all the same habits...nothing changed.

The lesson? Daily enforcement of new habits and the recognition of old habits when they are happening, not after.

Also, staying away from all Women's magazines. ugh...
I haven't bought glamour, cosmo, marie claire, for some time now and didn't have the desire to pick one up until this week. The sad thing is that I allowed it to make me feel disgusted and ashamed to be in this body. There was a poll in Glamour that states most women want a body like Jessica Alba's. The article had this picture of her that I couldn't stop staring at and realizing that I could weigh 110 and never have a body like that because of all of the damage. The lumps, scars, sores, and stretch marks. Losing this weight for me, cannot simply be about vanity because I will never be able to wear a bikini at any weight. And accepting that, one day will be helpful,right?

So remembering to actually do the things I am planning, or ...wait... stop planning and actually doing what I need to do to get where I want to be which is a healthy weight.

I leave you with pictures from this past week and the promise of a brighter week ahead because after all I turn 24 Wednesday!




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2 Comments:

Blogger FAT BRIDESMAID said...

Hey, I'm glad you're back posting and back on the wagon. Try not to beat yourself up -- we all struggle with this stuff. But it sounds like you've got a plan for this week so start again.

(And for the record, I have no desire to look like Jessica Alba. Bitch looks like she walked into a wall.)

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Sela said...

For what it's worth, most women who are 110 pounds don't look like Jessica Alba in a bikini either.

And most women who wear bikinis in real life aren't 110 pounds.

I've been slacking this last week, but I'm going to follow your good example and get back on the horse.

11:09 PM  

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