Fat Questionnaire

I got this from Fat Bridesmaid's blog and thought I'd give it a whirl...

1. What types of food were are you most likely to overeat?

Anything that is easy to eat. Often times I will have a lot of lovely produce and always go for the foods that are quickest to eat, which is sad to me. For example, last week I bought three boxes of meatless meats, (hamburgers, chicken etc) and I swear to you I hate them at every meal until they were gone. And got very sick as I suspect I'm a little sensitive to soy. Anyhow, if I have baked goods around or pretty much anything that tastes good and doesn't require a lot of work to make I will eat them continuously until they are gone. Josh is the same way, however he is skinny, and I'm not.

2. What times of day did do you overeat most often?

Anytime, but mostly when I'm not being watched.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overateeat?
Satisfaction while it is happening or glee even. Whatever glee means haha. Followed with guilt. Its like scratching an itch, the feeling of instant gratification.

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder?
I think I have touches of it, yes. I think we all have this idea that a binge eater is totally out of control, in their bedroom with a stockpile of food eating until they pass out. Much like an alcoholic. But, this image isn't always true. The fact is, I am fat because I'm using food for reasons that it wasn't meant to be used for. I believe that everyone loves food just as much as I do, some people just don't overeat/binge because the repercussions (getting fat or feeling sick) are greater than the instant gratification of eating a lot of the food they love.

If binge eating means: feeling out of control to food, or eating more than you are supposed to in a given day: then yes, I have binged. Have I gone long periods of time without binging, yes. Do I think I have food addiction, yes.

Another thing I noticed about those (bloggers, because I can read their lives or friends) who have successfully lost weight: they either gain it back and mourn for the days when they were thin and/or they struggle daily with their battles with food. I think some of us will always have an issue with wanting too much of a good thing, its just a matter of finding a way to make it work.

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain?

Every time I snuck food as a kid, every time I sneak food as an adult, every time I eat without thinking, or eating when I don't want to. Every time I didn't move or do something active.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight?


7. What other behaviors mademake you overweight?
Too much food, not enough exercise. I know that is generic, but if I'm not on trying to exercise. I don't. Its not a habit in my life and I'm not an active person other wise. I don't play sports and if I hang out with friends or family, its usually over or around food. I am a huge procrastinator, I don't do a lot unless I really have to. I can't tell you how many times I've started over or needed a day to figure out what I'm doing and "get things together". Its as though I never understand that the times when I'm not eating well or not exercising because I don't feel like it, well, those are the times when I most need to do so because I will always not really want to do any of it, especially after the initial excitement wears off. And it always does.

I've been fat my whole life, I think I've gotten used to being fat. And on many levels I am comfortable with it, and in denial about it. But, also realize that it is very painful to exist sometimes when you are fat.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight?

I've been continually gaining weight my whole life and I'm sure I've moved at some points during that time. Every time I have exercised for a long period of time, I've lost weight even without changing my diet.

9. What made you finally want to change?
I've been wanting to change for years. Literally, years and years and years. Since I was a kid and my family berated me for it, and I noticed that how many friends I had was a directly related to my weight. When I realized I wouldn't get asked out on dates or be able to wear "normal" clothing. I have been wearing plus sizes since I was like 11 or 12. So, I've always wanted to change, but perhaps not enough to actually change. I don't know what the answer is, other than just actually doing it, even when its hard.

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