5/06/2007

Passionate about losing fat



For the last month, I’ve increased exercise (2-3 gym trips a week) and went back and forth on dieting methods. During this time, I kept thinking I need to mentally get into this full force. I had these ideas that this moderate (and at times, half-assed) way of losing weight, was clouding my mind with disillusions. I said to myself “this moderation is cute, but really I want to fight this fat head on”. I feel that moderation is key long-term, but I also feel like I need to be more invested. Every time I have these “crazy” notions of being totally passionate about being fit, I hear news and magazine articles ringing in my head “that’s crazy talk, take it slowly, otherwise you will fail”. I feel like my acceptance of a slow loss, is leaving me disappointed and distracted.

I was an avid follower of the art of fighting without fighting.

I’ve been looking for the easiest ways of beating a hard situation. I’ve been playing the lottery of weight-loss. I’ve been indecisive and the constant stop and start of this…isn’t working. One party here, pms there, and bi-weekly pity parties. I feel like I am running on a treadmill chasing after a carrot and the process is slowing to a halt. I’ve heard so many times, “in order to make change, you have to do what you haven’t done before”.

The truth is, this Token Fat Girl, has never truly been invested in losing weight.
Sure, I’ve dieted and worked out, but I was never invested mentally. I always knew that I would go back, fall down, and feel guilty. I would lose, and gain and lose what I gained again. It shouldn’t take 3 months to lose 5 or even 10 pounds. I should see weight loss every week.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I never have the desire to starve myself or work out 3+ hours a day and lose weight by beating myself down. But, really I need to work harder, become passionate and invested in my goals.

I was thinking about medical students, when this idea came up. A lot of these people are invested, they go to class, study and sacrifice their time and energy because they are invested, passionate and serious. Doesn’t it make sense this way…what if your doctor graduated with a C or D average and missed important seminars about spleen extraction or heart transplants? Ok, bad example. But, being totally into something is a sacrifice and up until now I’ve avoided this because of fear. I feared that it was unnatural to care so much (like, only superficial people care about their weight)…I believed what I was being told even when my instincts pointed me in another direction. When it comes to losing weight, its totally personal and individual, but the answers are there if we are willing to accept them. I would only accept a diet if it let me have a little bit of junk food, and an exercise plan if it allowed me to continue being lazy. Then I began to think that moderation should be after I lose weight.

I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but after reading this article about the hierarchy of fat loss, I’m convinced that what I’ve been feeling is correct. This is my pledge to be the former Token Fat Girl and there will be a lot of changes around here.

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7 Comments:

Blogger FAT BRIDESMAID said...

YES! I'm with you girl! Sounds like we're both at the point where enough is enough. Time to rock out with some serious dieting and serious weight loss. Woohoo!

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please let that be lemon marzipan and not a chunk of yellow fat!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Glossy said...

Sounds great. I have read that article before, I think someone else has linked to it as well - it is a great read. I need to get lifting those weights.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous kate said...

I dunno. Is trying to make your body "perfect" really comparable to medical school? If I were going to all-out invest in something, I don't know that weight loss is what I would choose.

8:34 PM  
Blogger tricia said...

it's like you are writing what i'm feeling.

11:34 PM  
Blogger Token Fat Girl said...

FB- enough IS enough. totally with you on this one! Good luck with your schedule over load this month, we're with you!

Anonymous- yes, that is a nice chunk of yellow fat. yay!

glossy- ive heard so many times where people with a lot of weight to loose stick to cardio work until they lose the weight, but doing stregth training while trying to lose weight can actually help you lose more. muscle burns fat.

kate- you're right, medical school is probably more important in some aspects. I like to think that my life and health are the most important things that I can take care of and is worth the investment. I will never have a perfect body...no one does. Just a healthier one.

tricia- do you have a blog? i clicked on your link, but it didn't show. Take care, and thank you for the comments.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Lily T said...

I love the article you linked. I would have never thought of reading it (considering it in a website called Testosterone Nation. If I had wondered through that site I would have high tailed out of there as if someone had put “No Girls Allowed” sign over the tree house door. But what the article talked about I feel can apply to women and men, and I found it very informative.

I believe that intensity is important, but at the same time I’m afraid of burning out so I mix it up. Low intensity some days. High intensity others.

8:45 PM  

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