Tales from the old days of Atkins

After many drunken nights my friends and I would have post-party cravings for fast food. Keep in mind that towards the end of my Atkins adventure, I was drinking vodka with anything sugar free despite Dr. Atkins advice to avoid alcohol. So there we were, three girls, two drunk and one DD (designated driver) toting our drunk asses through the Burger King window around 4AM when I declared (more like slurred) that I wanted the double "whipper" with cheese, not whopper, but whipper. I would then give the bun away and chew on the greasy meat and cheese in the back seat of my friends car.

Another time at the grocery store I discovered sugar-free cake with icing. I took it home and enjoyed it a little too much. There are very vile effects to eating too much sugar-free desserts and candy that I won't go into, but shortly after my cake consumption I turned to bacon and ate about six slices. As I watched TV my stomach started to grumble and I looked at my room mate in desperation, I barely got out the words "I think I'm going to puke" when she was running towards me with a plastic bag.

I also have to tell you about the time that I really really wanted a hotdog. I had the hotdogs, but no buns of course. So, I thought it would be a good idea to put a hotdog with cheese and mayonaise on a low carb tortilla wrap. What was I thinking? The same former room mates walked in on me and my invention. They laughed and I was disappointed in myself for letting the diet get to that point.

And last but certainly not least, on the final day of my diet I caved and got a biscuit from Tudors (biscuit place in WV) with sausage, eggs and potatoes. I was in biscuit heaven. Later on that evening we went out to a toga party and drank then danced then drank some more. As we settled into the apartment for the night I began to cry (in the way that only drunks do) and whimper "I'm so ugly! I ate a biscuit!".

I look back on this and have a laugh (and hope you did too), but lets hope I've learned my lesson.