Food Pity Party

I did well this week with food; I ate out a couple of times this week and made smart choices with portion and the food I chose. There were a couple of times that I would find myself falling into a pity party with food. It goes something like this mixed with sighs of exasperation

“but, everyone else gets to eat foods they like, why can’t I?”

“one of those donuts won’t hurt, just one! I will get one…hm, no I won’t…yes, just one…er no” ,

“why can’t I just eat normally”

“agh, im tired of tracking everything”

These feelings are normal and are the same feelings that honestly would bring me down and headed towards the grocery store. It wasn’t as if I told myself “no” to all of these thoughts, but I just didn’t linger in them. Avoiding situations temporarily (note, the word temporary) that could bring on “food pity parties” can really be a good idea. If you feel like you will be around people plunging into grease and sugar, give yourself a moment alone to compose your thoughts and come up with a plan of action. It only takes a minute and that minute can give you long-term consistency.

Something else that I will admit is that I often do not want to be seen buying bad foods in public. Some people may have this fear, but ignore it and put on a brave face and others simply may not care. Either way, I don’t think these fears should be used as a tools to lose weight because it simply puts more stress and low self-esteem in your life, but it is very rare that I will have a craving enough to go out and buy junk food or gorge on grease in front of co-workers. My fat and the fear of what people may think is so great that if I did buy unhealthy food it would always have to be mixed in with other non-overeating treats. Can other people relate to this? It’s kind of funny, really, but it’s like the ever-embarrassing condom checkout, you don’t want to just buy condoms, so you put other things on the counter so hopefully they don’t stand out as much and get lost in the other stuff. For me is was went like this: lettuce, ice-cream, chicken breast, cheese, frozen pizza, tomatoes, cookies, whole wheat bread, potatoes, candy, carrots…you get the idea, never would I have the nerve as a 290+ girl to walk in and buy ice cream alone no, that would spin too much guilt and embarrassment. I would always think that the people seeing me carry the ice cream were thinking “another night alone but, she’s got ice cream” and that wasn’t far from the truth either…

I guess the point of this entry for me and for anyone else that may read this and need inspiration to keep going, is to keep going! Don’t let pity parties end dismiss all of your efforts. Don’t feel bad for taking care of you, celebrate it!