11/25/2006

My story is weighty, the token fat girl

As this blog is titled, it is in fact all about natural weight loss. What is natural weight loss? Well, in my opinion it is weight loss that doesn’t require knives, pills or starvation methods to get results. Losing weight on your own, naturally, slowly, and safely. I am not a nutritionist, weight loss counselor, doctor or even a guru, but I am fat. I will be filling this blog with my own musings, advice, information, and my day to day struggles (and success) with carrying extra weight on my body. This is the good the bad and ugly of being fat in today’s society.

A little about me:

I have started about 20 diets in my whole life, some have worked (temporarily) and some lasted for about 2 hours. I’ve started weight loss groups, challenges, blogs, and diaries, to find out that weight loss is not a plan, a method, or an expensive secret. Excess weight is a result of many things for many people. Some people grew up thin and then gained weight, while others have suffered with food addictions their whole lives. The weight is more than likely a result of something else that is happening (or has happened) in your life whether it is medical or situational, it seems to be the effect of something greater than too many pastries.

Being fat and staying fat can often be in a form of denial as well. Every day I hear misconceptions about general good health (from thin and fat people) and I wonder why so many people are misinformed about basic nutrition and exercise. Myself included! A lot of my denial comes from the pain of being fat… the rejection, the looks, and the unrelenting need to fit in and to gain attention. It wasn’t until my late teens that I could face the fact that I do have a weight problem and it wasn’t until awhile later that I could talk about it.

My weight is a result of an excessive love for food, not a pain soother, although would later become that with the trials of life and being fat. I remember being very young and hiding extra food from my parents, and eating excessively when I was home alone or even eating once at a friends house and then again at my house all the while letting my parents think I only ate once. My weight was always very embarrassing to me when I was a kid. I never felt like a huge outcast, but I was defiantly the slow kid in dodge ball.

When someone would bring up my weight (mostly family) I would cringe and turn red. The weight-talk for me had a similar reaction to the sex-talk for most teens. I hated it. When I was 12 my grandmother would offer to take me to weight watchers. I don’t remember my exact reaction at the time, but I know it was something in the form of murmurs and reaching for the nearest little Debbie cake, which she always had an abundance of.

A year prior to that I remember faintly that my PE teacher was requiring us to take a physical fitness test at the end of the year that would qualify us for an all day recess… I failed miserably. I had to stay inside all day with another kid that was in because of bad behavior. My excess weight experiences are very typical and cliché. I was never asked out on dates, to dances, most boys made fun of me, and I had no self-confidence.

As I get older I realize that these experiences have made me into the creative and unique person that I am today, but severely out of touch with my body and societies reaction to excessive weight. I’ve never been the woman to turn down sweets because I was watching my figure or the woman who always asked if her outfit made her look fat. I am fat regardless of the outfit I wear. I mostly gravitate towards and relate to other women with eating or weight issues and often find it hard to relate to women who don’t. I am annoyed by the skinny girl that constantly whines on and on about being fat simply for the reaction and to be told she is gorgeous and thin. I don’t think I am ugly and it hasn’t been until recently that have started to appreciate my appearance.

As you can tell, I have a lot to say about the topic of fat and weight loss and will have much more to come!

Lorrie

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow! i really like this! its totally honest and a good way to talk about weight issues, not just your own, but others as well. and not just "fat girl issues" but all weight issues! and i really like the banner! it makes me want a cupcake!:)
jas

8:52 PM  
Anonymous hopefulloser said...

Hi,
So far so good. The picture of you is adorable, you look beautiful.

I'm excited to read on.

12:49 PM  
Blogger You'd be so pretty if... said...

You sound so much like myself! I hope you'll come visit my blog and check in on me and I definitely am going to do the same with you! Nice to know there are others out there in the same boat as I am.

3:01 PM  

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