21 days and counting!

Thanks for everyone who pledged 21 days of a new habit! I didn't start mine until today, due to some unmentionable issues, but thats what I love about this, you can start anytime!

Today is Day one of my 21 days and I pledge to exercise at least 45 minutes everyday.

Who else has pledged?

Shanna is keeping a food journal for 21 days!

Beverly (couldn't gain access to her blog) wants to eat dinner before 6pm for 21 days!

Lisa is going to run or walk everyday for 21 days!

Mrs. Ingram/Stephany is going to walk everyday for at least 30 minutes!

David Berman looks like he is just trying to sell us something, but pledged nothing. Boo David, boo! :)

Spunky Suzi- is comitting to her program for 21 days!

Olivia is committed to working out everyday for 30 minutes!

Ginger Delicious is going to eat five servings of fruits and vegetables a day!

Country Jacket/Kimberly has two pledges: to exercise everyday and to not drink diet sodas!

I will update daily with my activity report! This list is really inspiring to have, to show that we are all working towards better habits. I'll be checking back and reading your blogs as the days progress. If anyone else wants to join in, just leave a comment :)

Have a wonderful Monday!!

my fat ass hearts wall-e

thats all I'm sayin.

21 days later

I was reading Women's Health magazine the other day and noticed a reference to a book about organization. Something about getting organized in a year, what intrigued me was the authors idea of setting a new habit every 21 days to reach your goal. The author explains that it takes 21 days to get used to a new habit. This isn't a new concept, but I really liked the idea of a 21 day challenge.

I'm very much an all or nothing person, which isn't such a good thing when you're trying to lose weight. It has its perks though, if I make a rule that I have to do no matter what, I'm likely to do it. The OCD inside of me comes out and its like playing that game when you're kid. Remember the one, where you couldn't let the balloon/ball HIT THE GROUND! OR! YOU WOULD ABSOLUTELY FREAK OUT AND DIE! never played? Highly recommended!

Anyhow, its kind of like that with me, if its something I make a rule about I get weirdly excited and competitive about it, even if its with myself. I have to make someone else know about it (you guys) to make it count. I guess what I'm asking, anyone else want to try a new positive habit out for 21 days? It could be simple or hard or whatever. I like the idea of it being something that honestly would challenge us and make us uncomfortable (comfort sometimes prohibits growth.)

Something like: no soda or juice for 21 days, no high fructose sugar for 21 days, no eating out for 21 days, at least 30 minutes of exercise for 21 days...hmm, what else? thinking...no fast food for 21 days, keeping a journal for 21 days, learning a new recipe for 21 days...anything!

What is mine? Exercise every day for 21 days (at least 45 minutes cardio, and strength training twice a week until gym membership runs out. will do alternative exercises at home when it does.) Sometimes I'm short on words for blogging, I feel like "okay, im doing fine, im eating good, im losing weight...what in the world can i talk about?" Well, the truth is, I need to exercise more and this would be a good thing to blog about. Win, win.

Anyone else want to join in for a 21 day challenge? Leave a comment or drop me an email with your challenge and blog link and I'll add you to the list of 21 day challengers.

Fashion Smashion

I've had this idea in my head for quite awhile now. If I see any outfit that I like online or in a movie I often think "how can that translate into plus sizes?" So, for my own amusement (and hopefully yours too!) I'm going to start putting plus size outfits together using online resources.

If you have an outfit that you'd like for me to find the plus size equal feel free to email it to me at tokenfatgirl@gmail.com.

My first outfit is a pretty simple one, but I love it, its elegant and classic. You could add some fun accessories to jazz it up a bit too.

1. Skirt- Nordstrom $88
2. Shirt- Nordstrom $119
3. Skirt- Old Navy $25
4. Shirt- Old Navy $26
5. Skirt- Avenue $50

No exercise+ hormones= crazy

Lately, (as in the past couple of days) I've been on an emotional roller coaster. Mostly, down though. I can say that I haven't experienced PMS at this level in quite awhile and I know my lack of exercise lately is to blame. Usually I experience mild craziness for a couple of days and then it passes.

But, this whole week I feel like everything is going to cause a meltdown. We recently decided to change our wedding date and this decision alone is causing major stress and I can't seem to deal with it. That alone, it making me sad, I'm just telling myself "get over it", is planning a wedding supposed to be this stressful?
The planning part is fine, but is the part about trying to please everyone else over ourselves. All of these silly rules and traditions.

The reason for the date change is due to the possible weather disasters. The place where I'm moving is pretty much in the middle of nowhere (compared to where I'm from) and traveling to our wedding could be next to impossible if it were to snow.

So, it looks like it could be in late March or early May. I'm having all of these crazy thoughts. I actually almost cried last night because of how much I hate leafless seasons. I was like "but march only pretends to be the spring! its so gray and leafless and depressing!". Yeah. So, now I know that I need exercise not only to lose weight, but to handle my insanity.

I'm forcing myself to the gym. I need to pull myself out of this, right now everything seems very hopeless. I'm finding fault in everyone around me. I become hateful and judgmental, and that really isn't the way to spend my time.

Over the weekend I watched Music and Lyrics and I temporarily hated Drew Barrymore for being so cute, smiley and quirky, while I was feeling evil and bitchy.

Okay...going to the gym today. Thats an order.

Exercise: Q & A

Here are a couple of questions from nicole from the day off diet q & a post.

1. What is your current exercise program? Have you stepped it up at all since you've started the Day-Off Diet?

Token Fat Girl: I do follow an exercise program, or I should say I was before the past couple of weeks. Over the past year, while my eating has been all over the map, I've done strength training and cardio on a regular basis. I wouldn't say overly consistently though, but I decent amount. Recently, I went on a trip and now I'm busy packing and work and planning a wedding which seems to be taking a lot of my time. I know, excuses, excuses. I've got a month left in my membership here so I'm going to keep using it until its up in August.

Anyway, I do strength training with Josh, we have two memo pads where we have been keeping track of our progress. One is from 07 and one for this year. Its really interesting to compare our strength this year to last year. I've gotten a lot stronger! I'm can push close to 400 lbs. on the leg press. Actually, I will make another post with my strength comparisons this year from last.
We do strength training in an untraditional way, which can be frustrating at times when the meat heads at the gym try to give us advice. I believe (this isn't a new concept) that strength is increased not by multiple reps at a low rate, but fewer reps at a "maxed out rate". Often times we need each other for the "positive lifting". I know I'm probably explaining this in a confusing and jumbled way haha! But, anyway, in short, we have a longer resting period to actually give the muscle time to rebuild, while increasing the weights by 5-10 lbs. each time we workout. I've been doing this for two years without injury.

When I do cardio at the gym I either like the 55 minute kick boxing class or 60 minutes on the stationary bike.

In August I won't have access to the gym here, so I'm thinking of doing power walking around the neighborhood or some DVDs. I plan on joining a new gym in VA when we move.


2. How often are you weighing yourself? You said that you need the scale/tape measure to know that you're doing the right things...but I almost feel like, we all know what the "right" thing is...whether we do it or not, that's the choices we make.

This really varies. I used to do it Saturday to Saturday. Or Sunday to Sunday when I was following weight watchers. Some weeks I weigh myself daily. I'm trying to avoid the scale for longer periods of time as of the late because I tend to go a little crazy with the whole thing. I can "gain" 4lbs. in a day in water and sometimes that can really get me down, even if its gone the next morning. The last time I got on the scale I was at 262, which I'm really excited about. That was about a week and a half ago. I'm not in a rush to lose weight, but I would like to be about 245 by labor day.

I hope this answers your questions Nicole!

be kind to yourself

Be Kind To Yourself. Four words that I heard recently and have really stuck with me. While trying to lose weight it is so easy to constantly be unkind, we beat ourselves up over everything we put in our mouths and every pound on the scale. I believe it is important to be realistic about weight loss and in understanding the damage that excess weight can cause. Being overweight, on one hand is being highly unkind. On the other hand, sometimes the lack of kindness could be keeping us fat?

As someone who grew up fat, I sometimes wonder if I had been treated kinder and celebrated for my achievements rather than my shortcomings, well, I wonder if it would make is easier to be kinder to myself as an adult. Instead of hearing "your are beautiful, funny and smart" many times I was teased about my weight by close family, relatives and class mates. I mostly heard "if you were my daughter I'd feed you only salads" or "you really should go for a walk". While I don't blame people for their reactions to an overweight child, sometimes I feel like I am still punishing myself for the unkindness of others. On some level, I know I've been sabotaging myself and keeping myself fat because I don't feel worthy of happiness.

So now that I am older and in adulthood, things tend to get a lot easier and I realize its up to me to celebrate myself and to be kinder to my body. Not just with diet and exercise, but in the way I internally speak to myself on a daily basis. On taking care of basic things, and keeping up with my appearance. Not out of vanity, but because I deserve it.

What are ways that we can be kinder to ourselves?

the day off diet: Q & A

I've been getting a few emails lately regarding the new plan I've been following (for over a month now!) and while I answered them privately, I thought I would answer them here as well.

I will start with a small update on how I'm doing on the plan, and my answer is: really well! There are some days that are better than others, as with any plan. Some days I want to eat everything in sight, which in my world means: yellow light foods. I feel like I am less obsessed with food, and the scale and the correlation between the two of them. In the past weighing more or less triggered a response that was not conducive and it still has that effect on me. If I weigh more I get upset (even if I know logically its just water) and I will sabotage myself, if its low I will allow myself to slack off.
See how this is a no-win situation?

I do need the scale and a tape measure to make sure I am doing the right things to lose weight, but lately I've been focusing on goals and where I'd like to be at such and such time. Lately my weight has been floating around the low-mid 260's. I'd like to be in the 240's by Labor Day, which has been my goal for how long? Anyway, what I'm happy about is that I'm more laid back about the whole thing. Usually I feel like I'm in a race to get there now, tomorrow, next week. And now, I'm like "its going to happen, i'm getting there and I'm enjoying the journey".

The thing about weight watchers and calorie counting (I do still keep a food journal and occasionally count calories at the end of the day) is that I was not enjoying food or the journey. I was trying to sneak junk food in every nook of what was left for the day. I was eating a lot of sugar, which made me want more sugar. Now, I'm at peace with what I'm eating and what I'm not eating. I cook a lot and I love coming up with new recipes. Right now, I'm perfecting my chili recipe!

This is still the beginning and I will continue to update, and experiment and what not. Its not perfect, nor am I, but I'm slowly becoming at peace with where I'm at which is strangely allowing me to feel confident that I will not be fat forever.

I've been asked to blog more about the day off diet, and I agree I should. I'd really like to do a photo food posts a couple of days of week or talk more about exercise.

On with the question:

"Hi, I was reading your blog about the "Day off Diet" and I was just wondering, don't you think you're jumping the gun a little bit? I mean, from what I've read you've only been doing it for less than a month... and they've already got your testimonial on their site.

If you don't feel the same way about it after three months, or if you stop losing weight, will you write a new testimonial or tell them to take it down?

Plus., the program uses what most people would call "junk food" as a reward for making healthy choices and even says you can eat as much of the green light foods as you want, so you're never hungry. Is that really promoting permanent life long changes ? It seems like a very temporary solution that really defeats the purpose of a lifestyle change by making you feel like you're derpriving yourself and using the word "diet". (Hence the day off thing to eat junk food)

It just seems like you're giving people false hope. So PLEASE if you ever feel like you got it wrong with this 'Day Off Diet' please let people know. -Mary"

Token Fat Girl Response:

Hey Mary!
Thanks for taking the time to send me an email. I can defiantly understand your concern and actually take to heart what you have to say about the contents of my blog and the programs that I follow. Its been interested the emails I've gotten since declaring my love for the day off diet. I never received emails for weight watchers or even atkins. Possibly because they are well known and therefore "safe".

It is possible that in three months I could totally hate the program and never lose another pound. I have control over the testimonial and was glad to provide it. As with most programs I truly believe that they all can work, you just have to find the one that is right for you. You have to be consistent with your pursuit of any goal and if you can't at least be consistent with your efforts, how will you ever become healthy?

The thing about the day off diet is that I have changed my lifestyle, I no longer eat snacks or any junk food 6 days out of the week. When I was "dieting" before, I craved foods these foods and felt sad when I didn't have them. This is no longer the case. When I did weight watchers, it was all about eating crap food (ie: 100 calorie packets, pre-packaged low point junk food) and figuring out how to eat the same junk within my points range. I never changed and my cravings never went away. I just found ways to make it o-k to eat things that are not nutritionally sound. Given, most diets do not suggest doing that, but if I can eat crackers and sweets, I probably will.

I was hesitant to start the day of diet, because I am cynical in nature and it takes a lot to convince me. One of the questions I keep asking myself is "how do I eat when I'm not dieting or trying to lose weight?". I realized that I wanted freedom from counting calories and points that most diets would not give me. Counting calories, for me, is not a life style change. I cannot measure portions and count calories for the rest of my life. What I also know to be true is that weekends are the hardest for me to stay on track. For example, I had a wedding that I went to this weekend and I was able to enjoy the food without guilt or feeling like I was "getting off the wagon". I was able to eat cake, salad, fried chicken, rolls, and even enjoy a cookout later that evening. I can't tell you how nice it was to enjoy social events without the guilt that comes after "falling off the wagon".

I don't recommend going insane with food on the day off, and I don't believe that that is what the day off it for. This one is hard for me, but its really changed my view of food. At first I would eat foods I really love and crave or binged on before, and now I realize how horrible I feel after eating them.

It is incentive, if I have cravings for pizza, icecream etc. I can think "I don't have to eat that right now", whereas it seemed on weight watchers, atkins or counting calories a craving would turn into "gotta have it right now!" and then I would try to suffice with low calorie ice cream and then over eat that.

I guess what I'm saying is, just because a program is well known doesn't mean it is right for everyone. The "green light" foods, are very healthful foods. Things I normally avoid when "dieting", the best types of fruits vegetables and meats. I don't go hungry, but I don't stuff myself because there is only so much of it I want to eat. But, I love the food I eat. I love that I am finally able to live my life without counting calories, or feeling like a slave to the scale.

I feel good. I exercise and strength train. Whatever someone interprets from any program that I follow is up to them, my blog is simply my journey and my voice. I'm not an advocate for the masses of overweight people. If I mess up and gain weight, thats my journey, not the fault of a program. We all know the truth: all programs work, you just have to stick with it. And this is one program that I'm able to stick with for now.

subs= self-esteem

This commercial has been circulating around the internet for a couple of weeks now, and I have to say after seeing it I am totally appalled, annoyed and pissed.
Check it out:


Are you kidding me? Aside from the obvious bad taste of the commercial as a whole, since when did processed nitrate/hormone infused meat that has been sitting in a plastic tub for god knows how long, become health food?

Seriously Subway, your sandwiches are lacking in the taste department as it is and now you go and pull a stunt like this. As a woman I am told every single day that I am not thin enough or pretty enough and now according to you I should eat your shit meat over McDonalds shit burgers to save my relationship and my self-esteem? Hmph. Again, reason #14,567 that I'm glad I do not watch cable TV.

Thoughts on Loose Skin

I've been doing a little research lately on the loose skin that remains after significant weight loss. My opinion on this subject is very conflicted.

I've been reading a weight loss blog for well over a year now from a lady who lost weight and then had surgery to remove "excess skin". After looking at her photos, I'm hard pressed to believe that what she was/is dealing with is loose skin. She is now having more "excess skin" removed.

I showed the photos to Josh and he agreed with me, and pulled up his shirt to show me a similar tuft of skin (love handles) on his sides. He has never lost a significant amount of weight, but still has exactly the same issues that can be fixed with diet and exercise.

It made me wonder if skin can actually and eventually snap back when following healthful methods for losing weight.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I lose more weight and wonder what the condition of my body will be when I get to my goal weight. It is traumatizing to think that I could look like this guy after my weight loss. Okay, I will probably will have my eyes in my head haha.

But, I've been reading a lot about people who do not strength train and exercise while they lose weight having flabby skin left over. And then I read other theories that excess skin is still body fat that needs to be lost. It is true in extreme cases that there are skin issues, when weighing in at over 350,400,600+ pounds. But, for people that lose weight and still have a high fat/low muscle percentage, is it still just skin?


I'm okay with a little loose skin, as it is much better and healthier than being overweight. But, I'm curious what other people think.

Do you think loose skin is always "loose skin", could it be body fat that still needs to be lost?

Are you worried about having excess skin or wrinkly skin after weight loss?


Would you have surgery to fix this issue?

NYC Calorie Law or Shock and Awe

As I've mentioned before, Saturday's are my day off where I can eat whatever I want. And usually this turns into a NYC food tour, where I eat the things I would normally feel guilty for wanting. One place I've always wanted to try was Carvel icecream, it's a chain similar to Dairy Queen. Nothing too special, but their signs always get me.

Anyhow, after sharing some chicken tikka masala, me and josh headed to the carvel across the street. There is one on every corner. As we were ordering I sort of noticed a number on the ice cream menu under the price. I honestly did not pay attention to it until Josh pointed out "uh, mine has over 1,000 calories", how did he know that?! And then I looked up again at the bright sign and realized that all of the menu items had a calorie count on them. Right there on the look-up menu in big type. 1,020 something calories for a "regular" ice cream concoction.

I had two scoops on a cone around 800+ calories according to the menu. The ice cream was nothing special, just a sugary mass. But, the calorie count right there in the open, was shocking and so revolutionary to me.

As we were killing time before seeing Sex and the City, Josh wanted to get an ice coffee, so we stopped into the Duncan Donuts. And thats when I saw the calories count of every single menu item starring right back at me. You know the donut bin things with the sign in front of each donut flavor? Well, now its the flavor plus the calorie count! I couldn't believe it. It was exciting and scary at the same time. 630 calories for a chocolate chip muffin, 250 calories for a glazed donut, 400 calories for a lowfat blueberry muffin.

It doesn't surprise me that some snarky people would regard this as a half-assed attempt at trying to deflate the bellies of our country, but I really thought it was interesting that they are required by law to tell you exactly what it is you are about to consume. They should create special codes for the horrors of some of the ingredients such as high fructose corn syrup, trans fats (which are now actually banned in nyc), and hormonal animal-fed meat/dairy.

What do you think about this law? Should all states be required to publicize the calories in their food? Would this make you think twice about your order?

Recipes as promised

I really should have taken pictures of the food I ate yesterday, but I get to making the food and then I want to eat the food and the camera gets forgotten. Poor camera, I'll get better, I promise.

Anyhow, for breakfast/lunch yesterday I wanted to make chicken and bean burritos. I wanted the chicken to be slightly shredded and really flavorful. Usually I just put the diced chicken in the skillet and hope for the best. What I get is rubbery chicken that lacks flavor. What is a girl to do?!

Well, I think I've mentioned this before, but I read a lot of blogs. Its amazing that I get anything done, but a good portion of the blogs I read are food related which is probably not such a good idea. But, after reading a few blogs I started getting tips and ideas on how to make decent chicken in the skillet. Finally!

Okay, so this isn't a real recipe, just a bunch of tips that will lead you to really delicious chicken for tacos or burritos or salads.

This is what I did, I hope it makes sense: Place two chicken breasts in a large freezer bag and slap around with a large wine bottle. Now, this can make quite the scene, but I assure you its worth all the noise and strange looks you may get from those living with you. Pound the chicken like you mean business. I don't have a meat mallot thing, so this is where being a wino comes in handy. It works just as well. I beat the breasts (uhh) until they flattened and I was tired. I then put some olive oil (you can choose how much you use, I used about 1.5 T) with garlic in a skillet over medium high heat. Put the chicken on and sprinkled with taco seasoning (you can make your own or use store bought) and put pressure on the chicken with the wine bottle again.

I turned the chicken over and put more seasoning and knowing me, probably more olive oil. I let it cook until almost done and then I got out a knife and fork and began breaking the chicken up into strips and chunks. It will come apart pretty easily. Oh! I almost forgot, after I turned the chicken over I covered it with a lid for about three minutes. Anyway, once you have the chicken cut up toss it around with your spatula and finish cooking until done. What you will have is moist and flavorful chicken. You will slap yourself for never making chicken this way. Thats what I did.

Recipe Two: Whole wheat pizza crust

This was just an experiment from about two weeks ago that has turned into an obsession. I wanted pizza and I wanted it to be good and I wanted it to be 100% whole wheat. I've read other bloggers who are still trying to master this recipe, but its so easy I don't know what all the fuss is about. Would you believe me if I told you it only has like 5 ingredients and one of them is water? Or that is is delicious crust that you may actually prefer over regular white flour crust? Its beautiful and easy, I could cry thinking about it.

Seriously, I've made it about five times in the past two weeks. Thats something special. You can get really crazy and make your own sauce like I did last night, and you will weep even more. Or you can get even crazier and put fresh basil on top, or even fresh mozzarella. You may need a box of tissues. I still wonder why I ever accepted anything less with my food?

So basically all you need is stone ground whole wheat flour, salt, warm water, yeast and olive oil. I use organic whole wheat flour because I shop at this ridiculous place online, but anything will do. Just make sure its not fake whole wheat or half and half. I like purity. Anyway, get out a 1/2 cup measureing cup and a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon. It doesn't have to be wooden, I just feel more authentic using it. Next I run the tap water on hot until it is hot/warm. I put 1/2 cup of the hot/warm tap water in a bowl with one packet of yeast and mix with a fork until bubbly. Then I add one cup of whole wheat flour and mix. Then I add another 1/2 cup of warm/hot water and another cup of whole wheat flour. Then I add salt, I don't measure it, but I just shake it until the spirit moves me to stop. Its not technical, you will just know.

Mix it all up. Now start gradually adding another 1/2 cup of flour until the dough is moist and movable, but not sticky. Also add some olive oil to give the dough a certain hint of specialness. I don't know how much I use maybe 2 T. or maybe 1.5 T, it's hard to tell. I don't douse the dough.
Once the dough is nice and fluffy, I kneed it a little and then set aside for about 10 minutes in a warm place. This will give you time to gather your toppings. Don't forget to preheat the oven to 400 degrees. After 10 minutes, add your toppings, and bake for about 12-15 minutes.

You may never order pizza out again!

Inspiring Links Updated

Hello again, just wanted to pop in and say that I've updated my inspiring blogs link page tonight. If you'd like to be added send me an email- tokenfatgirl@gmail.com and I will add you after reviewing your blog!

Also, tomorrow I've got two really good recipes to share!

Its gettin hot in here

Woah, totally haven't updated in forever. I just got back from a quick trip down to WV to see a friend get married. Dropping like flies, I tell ya.

Things are going good on the weight-loss front, I need to do some strength training/cardio this week. The heat is insane lately! Thats the thing about the weather, it cracks me up, its summerish and we are all "its so hot!" as if its the first time we've been hot. This is my second summer in NY without real air conditioning.

Living in NYC is not as glamorous as one would think, sure you can get the best food here and go to the best shows or do some great shopping, but the living part is that hard part. To find a decent and affordable apartment is just not really possible.

While in WV we were visiting my moms friend for a dip in her pool. It was nice, her house was beautiful! Later me and Josh noted how expensive that same lifestyle would be in NYC. Impossible really, unless you're a millionaire (twice over.)

So while it is hot, there is a bonus to being hot: I don't want to eat. Okay thats a lie, I do want to eat just not a lot and not often. I find myself saying things like "its too hot to eat!"

I have some other stuff I need to update on, like a product review I should have done two weeks ago. Also I've been getting some interesting emails/questions about the plan I'm following. I will answer them here for sharing.

If you have any other questions, get them in now and I'll answer them all in one post. My email address is tokenfatgirl@gmail.com.